Tried to help, now I give up on trying

[AZMSGT]

So many threads of trying to help some people and those people just don’t listen.

Some folks, “My fish died, why?”

Us, “What’s your ammonia, nitrite, nitrate. How old is tank? What are you using as for water, salt?

Some folks “ 0,0,0 or I need to go buy kits. I’ll get back to you”, “Tap water and water softener salt, Rock salt, Pool salt, why does it matter salt is salt.”

Me, “ DOH”.... throws hands in the air as if the poster could see me..

Way to many posts similar to the above. I wish I could make this up.. but I can’t. I start trying to help folks but when they start telling you that they have used Pool salt or Rock salt for their tank.. It blows my mind. Others try to help but they just keep going down a path of weird. You gotta wonder if you’re getting trolled. Nope, they are serious.

Anyway, just tired of trying to help and getting told.. Nah.. Going to do it my way anyway.

 

[Pau Hana Reefer]

I think what we see here isn't just limited to reefing... it's with everything we do in this world. It's a shame that with our hobby, people who choose to do things "their way" frequently end up harming or killing living creatures.

Don't give up... there are many people, including myself, who have benefited greatly from the amazing people here.

 

[Malifry97]

I think what we see here isn't just limited to reefing... it's with everything we do in this world. It's a shame that with our hobby, people who choose to do things "their way" frequently end up harming or killing living creatures.

Don't give up... there are many people, including myself, who have benefited greatly from the amazing people here.

This.

 

[BeltedCoyote]

I think what we see here isn't just limited to reefing... it's with everything we do in this world. It's a shame that with our hobby, people who choose to do things "their way" frequently end up harming or killing living creatures.

Don't give up... there are many people, including myself, who have benefited greatly from the amazing people here.

I can also attest to the help that people such as yourself have rendered me OP. Don’t give up!

 

[W1ngz]

I definitely agree, and share the frustration when you get someone who is entirely ignorant and beyond stubborn. I'd say though, that most who come looking for help are genuine though. The ones who know nothing yet insist on arguing because 'they were told this' aren't worth my effort, and I simply unwatch the thread and leave them to their misery. I'll put my effort into someone who is more cooperative and open.

 

[theMeat]

Very true. It’s not just with reefing

One of my fav sayings...
A dumb person makes the same mistakes.
A smart person learns from their mistakes.
A genius learns from the mistakes of others.

Then again, there’s so many ppl out there pretending to know things that you really have to sift through the bs to get good honest advice these days

 

[brandon429]

Cycling problems.

Hey guys, I was hoping someone could help. I'm currently cycling my first saltwater tank (Although i have three freshwater tanks,) but i cannot for the life of me get the Nitrites to go down. I know patience is key, but it been four. months. I'm going nuts! I started the cycle by adding a dead...

www.reef2reef.com

i attempt to help people not get motivated into making more purchases by cycling falsehoods but Dr Tim‘s is still winning.

 

[Shinister]

Are you serious about the pool salt, rock salt example?

 

[WVNed]

There are a lot of people that come here wanting validation. That what they did was okay. That it wasn't their fault.

They don't actually want help.

 

[Ratvan]

Don't know if this makes it better or worse but a lot of forums are having this issue currently.
Usually with the line "But my LFS told me..."

 

[Jorgehiram]

Don't give up yet, there are many more people listening and learning from you and others behind the scene, as a newbie myself 3 years I am still learning and could not have made it without R2R. Soooo my Rookie advise is the same you already gave to others in the hobby; Patience is a must.
We appreciate you.

 

[Mical]

So many threads of trying to help some people and those people just don’t listen.

Some folks, “My fish died, why?”

Us, “What’s your ammonia, nitrite, nitrate. How old is tank? What are you using as for water, salt?

Some folks “ 0,0,0 or I need to go buy kits. I’ll get back to you”, “Tap water and water softener salt, Rock salt, Pool salt, why does it mater salt is salt.”

Me, “ DOH”.... throws hands in the air as if the poster could see me..

Way to many posts similar to the above. I wish I could make this up.. but I can’t. I start trying to help folks but when they start telling you that they have used Pool salt or Rock salt for their tank.. It blows my mind. Others try to help but they just keep going down a path of weird. You gotta wonder if you’re getting trolled. Nope, they are serious.

Anyway, just tired of trying to help and getting told.. Nah.. Going to do it my way anyway.

I hear you. Sometimes I question where do some folks get their ideas? We all agree there is alot of mis-information out there, and that's what motivates me to continue to try and help. There's a handful of scenarios that play here:

a) the folks who are building a reef on a budget and cut corners or buy an inexpensive alternative (at least they think) to a piece of real gear.

b) folks who want an "insta reef" and expect it to be a weekend project.

I could go on but most of us have seen it time & time again. People getting into this hobby need to realistically research, be prepared for $$$ outlays & be ready to devote time & patience into it.

 

[Pau Hana Reefer]

Are you serious about the pool salt, rock salt example?

This is real, I saw this too.

 

[dopey]

I try to read through emergency threads each day much like catching up on news. It helps me understand issues folks have and learn myself incase I ever encounter an issue. I rarely (Not sure I ever have) replied to an 'help me' thread. I frequently I know(or know what I would do) but it's not from personal experience, it's from reading on this forum is how I *know*. -- I posted yesterday about velvet. From spending time here I recognized it when the symptoms came on, and wanted feedback on how to proceed. I am sure everyone was 100% trying to help but even there conflicting advice on best path forward. If that was someone brand new in the hobby, that truly had no idea what white anything on a fish could mean.. I think they'd be very confused what to do next or who to listen to.

To play devil's advocate, as someone who is asking for help the responses can be overwhelming and conflicting information. Depending on your personal knowledge/time in the hobby and how you as a person would react to such information, well things can progress where at the end everyone is just angry at one another.

I'd be curious the number of responses people offer which comes from personal experience or the number which comes from merely reading threads here on reef2reef. The problem with us repeating what others wrote which we believed is it's not always accurate. Or it may not apply to this situation. Or we are just repeating what very well may be a myth.

I think BRS mentioned it in some videos. When getting advice on internet, if the person giving it doesn't have photos and proof of they themselves having a successful tank in your eyes. be cautious.

Find any thread about algea issues and you see everything from nutrient levels to a full empty/rinse/sand process, to near psuedoscience explanations in the same thread, and usually members arguing with one another.


Not trying to defend the truly arrogant ones or ones who have spent 0 minutes researching before setting up a tank and tossing in a few damsels then asking for help... but I do think the amount of conflicting information provided in some threads is not a positive thing.

 

[W1ngz]

I frequently I know(or know what I would do) but it's not from personal experience, it's from reading on this forum is how I *know*.

You should totally jump in when you know something, regardless if it was learned from others or from experience. Helping a newbie find information is *just as helpful* as dispensing it yourself.

You may also be surprised at how much you can learn when you're helping someone else. I think about half of what I've learned has come from researching other people's problems.

 

[Pau Hana Reefer]

Don't know if this makes it better or worse but a lot of forums are having this issue currently.
Usually with the line "But my LFS told me..."

This is one of the problems with the digital age we live in. It's just as easy for misinformation to spread as good information. Look at the recent broom standing up by itself trend because "NASA said it can only happen one day a year due to the Earth being perfectly balanced"... It only took a couple days for that to totally trend off the charts.

 

[esther]

So many threads of trying to help some people and those people just don’t listen.

Some folks, “My fish died, why?”

Us, “What’s your ammonia, nitrite, nitrate. How old is tank? What are you using as for water, salt?

Some folks “ 0,0,0 or I need to go buy kits. I’ll get back to you”, “Tap water and water softener salt, Rock salt, Pool salt, why does it mater salt is salt.”

Me, “ DOH”.... throws hands in the air as if the poster could see me..

Way to many posts similar to the above. I wish I could make this up.. but I can’t. I start trying to help folks but when they start telling you that they have used Pool salt or Rock salt for their tank.. It blows my mind. Others try to help but they just keep going down a path of weird. You gotta wonder if you’re getting trolled. Nope, they are serious.

Anyway, just tired of trying to help and getting told.. Nah.. Going to do it my way anyway.

As someone who has been helped by you (and taken your advice, so, THANK YOU), I would encourage you to continue. And if you still decide that you're not going to help anymore, please consider still helping me. lol

 

[theMeat]

When you’re talking about a simple subject when there is a simple right or wrong answer.... with reefing this is not the case. More than one way to find success. Just look at any qt thread.

 

[lilgrounchuck]

I think what we see here isn't just limited to reefing... it's with everything we do in this world. It's a shame that with our hobby, people who choose to do things "their way" frequently end up harming or killing living creatures.

Don't give up... there are many people, including myself, who have benefited greatly from the amazing people here.

Remember not too long ago when eating Tide Pods became a thing? People can be incredibly stupid.

 

[tankstudy]

When you’re talking about a simple subject when there is a simple right or wrong answer.... with reefing this is not the case. More than one way to find success. Just look at any qt thread.

Yeah, you can approach the hobby in a quite a few ways now.