Just Asking Update.... about my Mom...

[mibwb]

I just wanted to again Thank everyone for the cards and kind words that were received for my Mom's Birthday. With deep sorrow...my Mom passed away New Year's eve...she was in her bed here at home with her Doctor Who decorated Christmas tree(how she loved it) I was at her side when she took her last breath. It Hurt.... I stood there at her side talking to her waiting for the Hospice Nurse to come and officially pronounce her passing. I stood there at her side, when the Nurse and Mom's Aide (who stayed pass her shift on her own time) help the Nurse wash her up and put on her favorite night gown (one with cats on it) on her and put a pair of socks (that had Christmas trees on them) on her feet..Mom would have approved and brushed her beautiful long white hair and tucked her into bed. I thanked the Nurse for what she had done. I thanked the Aide for all the care she took in helping with Mom these pass months and for staying pass her shift helping with Mom. She said "she did it because, Mom was such a sweet lady" They both left. I stood there by her side waiting for the funeral home to come. I stood there by her side as they put a band with her name around her ankle. They took her out of bed, sliding her on to a gurney. They covered her up against the wind and snow. They slid her into their van. They said they would take good care of her. I stood there as they drove off. I suddenly realized, all the years I took care of Mom...her yelling at me, calling me names and all the sleepless nights I endured as she was losing herself. The consent calling of my name all the time. Holding her hand when she felt lost and needed me just to be there...reassuring her, she was home in her bed and was not going anywhere. The diaper changes, the cleaning up of messes. The times when all seemed hopeless to me. The moment they were out of sight. I realized...I would never see her again...my heart broke. I wanted to run after them. I know...I'd say "I'll be a better son","Just don't take her" But, as I stood there feeling this and knowing I was going to be alone after 16 years of just taking care her and feeling could I have done more?....I walked back in to the house that felt still and empty. I walked into her bedroom, made up her now empty cold bed and turned off all the machines. The room fell silent after years of machine noises and the sound of her snores. I reached to turn off her tree (one of the few things she enjoyed) it was there in her room.. just , It was then, I realized.. Mom hadn't left because I didn't do enough or care enough or say enough. It wasn't up to me. It was just her time to leave...I know, It just Hurts. I would go through it all again, if just to have her back for a moment longer or to just give her a hug....it just Hurts...But it was worth it when she would smile... Thanks for letting me share...Mike

 

[ReefRondo]

I cannot send you enough sympathy my friend. Truly such a hard time for you. Never feel like you can’t share.

 

[reefluvrr]

No matter how prepared we think we are in knowing when our loved ones are going, when the time comes......it still knocks the wind out of us.
My deepest condolences and cherish the memories of your mom during those difficult times.

 

[Retro Reefer]

Sorry for your loss.. my heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[Flippers4pups]

My deepest condolences to you and your family. May God give you the strength and peace in your time of need.

 

[Reef-junky]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[mmw64]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Katrina71]

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing her with us.

 

[Triple.T]

I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your mother! My condolences to family, friends and of course yourself!

 

[UCF Alum]

I think you all made a GREAT decision to let her pass at the house instead of hospice. That’s where you go to die. I told my wife if I’m ever in there to pull the plug or take me home.

She passed with you there and HER Christmas tree.

Godspeed.

 

[vetteguy53081]

My deepest regrets and sympathy . I too lost my mom and I truly understand the pain, but I also replaced that pain with the good memories. Her spirit lives on and one day we all become united.

 

[MTBake]

Condolences to you and yours. Very sorry to hear of your loss:(

 

[Jaebster]

Oh wow. I dont know the background story but you made me feel like I was there. May your mother rest in peace and you, your family and family friends stay strong. My mother's birthday was on New Years Eve. She passed away 16 years ago from cancer and I still miss her soooo much. Your story made me cry.