Well I managed to melt a few holes in my breadboard, lol my new breadboard. Looks like i also fried one of my fets, at $3ea I'd like to avoid that. Playing with the lighting controls I think I have things wired correctly wiring it per this
https://learn.adafruit.com/assets/2693 and not sure what was not correct but when my jumper wire started to melt against the fet heatsink I pulled the power. I hope I didn't do any further damage to the pi etc.
I connected things back up but in a way with alligator clips to where I could touch the jack terminal to get a voltage reading, it appears to be playing nice now I have no idea since i thought it was connected the same way. One problem I have now is that the rpi pwm doesnt seem to actually be pwm. I have it hooked up to a meter and it just reads like its normal voltage it doesn't cycle the voltage like I was expecting it to but this may be normal, since I am in uncharted territory for me. My other issue is when on the lighting control, on the fixed setting, when I increase it to one, it starts out at 9.75V, thats way to high for 1, if I increase it to 50 it's close to 12v, although nothing is melting now so at least thats a step forward. ;)
Looking for what I need to do differently, I did notice that if I changed the option from active high to active low that it was 12v no matter the sliding scale. Anyone have any suggestions let me know, was hoping I could get this to work for my lights.
Picture of my melted breadboard, what its not supposed to look like :)