Hitting that brick wall....

[ThunderGoose]

Lots of good advice here. One thing that hasn't been mentioned (that I noticed) - If you can afford it find an aquarium maintenance company to do part or all of the "work." Or even just to tweak your system to minimize maintenance. I hired a local reefer one year into reefing (things weren't going as well as I would like - kept killing even simple corals). Now I have an automated ATO that refills itself! (seriously, it's hooked up to my RODI unit so I never have to fill it) My refugium is growing Chaeto like a weed (I killed chaeto the first time I tried it). My skimmer is actually working without having to constantly mess with it. It's made things easier.

If The Husband would let me drill a big hole in the floor I'd put the sump in the basement and automate the water changes, too. Maybe if I can talk him into re-arranging the living room and adding that second reef tank... I have a beautiful image of two tanks - one on each side of the TV - both connected to a common sump in the basement... Sigh.

 

[J Rog]

I hit a wall and sold everything. Well I was moving and my wife and I were having baby and I was burnt out of reefing.. it was nice not having to deal with a tank for a couple of months.. After about 3 months I was missing the hobby a lot.. A little over a year after I sold everything I bought a new set up. I got all different equipment for this tank then I did the last tank which was my favorite part of the new set up. I went from Radions on my last tank to ATI T5’s with reefbrites on this tank. Went with gyres on the new tank where my old tank had MP 40’s. Different skimmer, fuge light, etc.. And also got an apex for the new tank. So that spiced it up for me.. Now I think my wife wants to kill me because I spend a majority of the night (after the kids go to bed) messing with the tank.. lol I love the hobby more then ever now. I think I really did need that year break to re spark the interest though. Makes you realize how much you do enjoy the hobby when you don’t have a tank to take care of.

 

[reefwiser]

In the past 54 years I have hit many brick walls and after I sold my house and moved into a patio home I stopped keeping a tank for a couple of years as my wife's health and work where taking up all my time. The problem I found is I had no "Me" time. You need to have time to just focus on something that is just yours and no one else's. It cleans out the brain of all the stress you have built up inside you from the "real world" Job and family that consumes ones every minute. My wife now understand's the aquarium and the hobby is my way to release this pressure. Find something that annoy's you about your tank and do a project to fix that. I am always improving something on my system be it RO/DI system adding a pressure pump on a nice board. Or placing a new shelf in the garage to organize the stuff we accumulate in the hobby.

 

[Heliarc19]

Sell the livestock or donate to an aquarium,store, or somewhere you could visit if possible. Keep all the equipment and take a break, in a few months or a few years when you get the bug and can’t wait start again. That’s what I did and couldn’t be happier so it will work for anyone....right?

 

[siccsic]

This was the perfect read for me today. I really never post but just read. I am in the same boat. Working out of town come home for 3 days for months now and every time I come home it depresses me more seeing my reef not thrive like it used too. Tried teaching the wife the basics but with her and the kids being a single parent while I'm gone, she doesn't really have time either. I think starting over is the perfect thing for me. Get new equipment and pumps and slowly start building a beautiful reef again.
Thanks for the post
Lots of great advice here

 

[ReeferRoo]

I have only been in the hobby for a year now, but the past 4 months my wife has been suffering from debilitating intractable migraines and photophobia after a sudden migraine back in Sept. Initially the tank lights crippled her, now she is finally able to start looking and enjoying it again, just not for long periods of time and we cant spend time in the family room down stairs like we used to, so it has become a room in the house we occasionally go in. Another thing that has dampened my commitment was the breakup of the routine. I used to go down with the kids and feed the fish and corals, watch the inverts run around, and the corals pull in food. While the kids were watching I would do testing, clean the skimmer, change socks, do other minor cleaning activities, but since the initial onset of my wifes condition, I was struggling to remember to feed, change socks, clean the skimmer, etc...I haven't tested the tank water other than salinity when I mix a new batch for the AWC in nearly 4 months now.

That all being said, its been hard to stay focused in the hobby with her being down and the 2 kids (3 and 5) seeing the opening in parenting and exploiting it added to the holidays and the crippling medical bills. Luckily I had already setup the ATO and AWC, which kept the tank and all the inhabitants alive during this time.

I am starting to get back into it but it has been slow to reinstate the routine. New health insurance this year is reducing medical cost commitments so financially we will be in a better position and my wifes condition is improving overall so my overall mood is improving and depression and stress are lifting. Which is good because before my wifes issues I had purchased all of the equipment for Dosing and some other stuff for "tank related projects" that I am still eager to setup. I may even be able to make my first frags which is exciting as well. Couple the positive direction of our general household health and winter providing me with the apparent luxury of having some free time to be inside a lot is forcing me to tinker a little more here and there and most importantly reorganize all the tank related stuff to figure out what is next. I have also begun purchasing some other items as well for upgrades.

I am due for a major tank cleaning, pumps, power heads, skimmer, dust the lights, etc so I think that will also reinvigorate me. I find lists help me as well. If I don't have a list of what I need to do, then all the tasks seem overwhelming. But if I have a list of 10 or 20 things, its almost a challenge to see how many I can cross off in a weekend...

Now I just need to make a list...;Facepalm

Anyway...I know my pitfalls, I know when stressed the tank helps me decompress, but depression and stress incapacitate me. I also know its a matter of time before I come out of it...but that is just me.

I love reefing and my journey is only just begun...I have big plans...Need to buy my neighbors house. Then water proof my basement, significantly expand the leech fields for skimmate, install solar panels, wind farms and fuel cells for power. Turn my neighbors garage into a sump/Fuge and his basement area into a wet room, run the new water mains the 30' between my future reef and the new sump, take out the floor for the room above the wet room for the 2 story skimmer, install a cruise liner impeller for a water pump and of course all of the plumbing, install about 500 XR30 pros. Fill my basement with salt water and the new sump room (probably just truck it up from the gulf coast, I mean I would already be like a million bucks in the hole). Aqua-scaping will take some time, would need to come up with a lock system for bringing in large dead reef rock thru my garage but that just logistics...Then I would install the scuba platform and refilling station for endless ours of enjoyment...oh and the water proof life alert so my wife knows when something has gone wrong...

It's nice to dream...

 

[dutch27]

I've been there, and sold off everything except some choice equipment and took a break. I found after a couple months I still had an itch, so I went back to a small tank. I identified what it was I didn't enjoy and was burned out on, and set out for a simplified tank without bells and whistles. I still get the urge from time to time to get rid of it all, but ultimately I find that if I ignore the urge, keep up with basic maintenance (just water changes for me), that after a month or so it reverses course as I see my corals growing and the payoff for the work, and I get excited to maintain the status quo and watch the tank mature. Planning and building a new tank is fun, keeping up with the husbandry waiting for it to turn into something special is difficult.

Ask yourself what it is that has you burned out, and if you can adjust the tank to fix that, or if you interest in the hobby has simply passed. There's nothing wrong with that, people's interests change.

 

[srad750c]

Your tank just showed you the way, keep going. You never give totally. Start over but never give up. I have had a SW of some sort since 1990, Finally tried SPS 3 years ago in a FOWLR/LPS tank. I was perfect for about a year, then it went ULN. That was a huge headache, who would think your water could be too clean. So to correct that used different products finally figured it out but I swear that one of the products had debersa spores in it. And my amino acid supplement is being discontinued. So here’s another headache, the last two amino acid supplements started Cyanobacteria in my tank. I haven’t had debersa or Cyanobacteria for over 5 years. So I will try the meds for debersa and a 5 gal water change daily to get rid of cyno. If that doesn’t work, I will move corals to a smaller tank and start over. I never give up. I will have a tank until I can no longer carry buckets of water.

 

[DaveC]

Right before my daughter was born I had a 90 & a 10 gallon. a heater failure in the middle of winter killed everything in my 10 and the constant mistake chasing in my 90 caused to shut them both down. Now that my girl is almost 8, I am in the middle of setting up my 40 as a 'lessons learned' tank, only to learn new lessons.

Take a step back and see if \ when it draws you back in.

 

[Scottsquatch]

My suggestion, drastic as it may be, take the tank down and sell off all of the livestock. Walk away from it for a while, take a vacation if you will. If you truly love doing this you'll come back to it. When you do, start fresh try something different, more DIY, different type of tank, different inhabitants, species specific, etc. Point is, we never shy from the things we love but even the strongest attractions to things fades from time to time. Rest from it a little, allow your passion to either be reinvigorated or ignited in something else.

That is exactly what I was going to suggest. I got out of ALL things aquarium related for a few years and then I suddenly realized how much I liked it and started back up. My last break was health related and not planned but boy am I glad to be back again.

 

[Scottsquatch]

Also, if you dont want to get all the way out, maybe do like a 20 long softy/zoa tank or a 5 gallon nano as a change. Or a 2gallon jar nano. Just something totally different.

 

[hybridazn]

Lots of great suggestions here, it's kind of crazy how many of us have gone thru this. A couple ppl suggested going the triton method, I did go the zeovit route for about 6 months but that ended up being even more work lol. I sold the whole system, but I did find that I absolutely love coral snow. It's like having fresh carbon in the tank daily lol