Today I went for a routine echo cardiogram and stress test. I have one every couple of years because my insurance pays for it and my Doctor has some Supermodels working for him so what the heck.
One of the Supermodels is going to take my blood pressure and I told her, don't bother because my blood pressure is better than perfect. She says, what makes you thing so? I said because I am in perfect shape, can't you tell? I can tell by her expression that she didn't think so. Anyway, she says, what do you think your pressure is? I said 117 over 75. She took it and said "Dam", it's better than that. It's 115 over 70. That's like what Batman's pressure is :****: (I said that last part, not her)
So I get on the treadmill and start walking as the Doctor is talking to me. He keeps his boat moored right near mine so I see him all the time. I spend ten minutes on the thing walking as fast as I can then you jump on the gurney and they do the echo and stress stuff. After a while the nurse runs out yelling for the Doctor so I figure I must be going into cardiac arrest, have Ebola or am in the middle of a stroke. The doctor comes in, who by the way is a cardiologist and is about 300lbs. and they are looking at the readout. The nurse says "I can't read it, is this normal?" So now I am sure I am croaking and I see my life flashing before me. Fish, Supermodels, brine shrimp hatcheries, more Supermodels etc.
Then he tells her, she can't read it on that chart because even though I am 65 years old, I have the perfect heart for a 48 year old so I am off the chart.
