The Miracle Tank

vetteguy53081 · Jan 31, 2022

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem. Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table and then said, “Oh! That must be the door. I’ll get it!”

vetteguy53081 · Feb 1, 2022

A California winery managed to create a new type of wine by crossing Pinot Blanc with Pinot Grigio. As a side effect, it reduces the number of times people need to get up to pee during the night. It is being marketed in retirement homes around the world as Pinot More!

vetteguy53081 · Feb 2, 2022

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”

vetteguy53081 · Feb 2, 2022

I was walking down the street today when a tow truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, “Excuse me, I’m looking for the accident site involving a truck carrying a load of cutlery.” “Oh, I saw them a way back,” I said. “Go straight down this road for one mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road you’re there.”

Did

vetteguy53081 · Feb 4, 2022

How vivid changed things

vetteguy53081 · Feb 7, 2022

can’t believe someone broke into my RV and stole all of my fruit! I am peachless!

vetteguy53081 · Feb 8, 2022

vetteguy53081 · Feb 9, 2022

Lowell Lemon · Feb 9, 2022

vetteguy53081 said:

Proof of inflation right there lol.

vetteguy53081 · Feb 10, 2022

fishguy242 · Feb 11, 2022

Red...

vetteguy53081 · Feb 13, 2022

Where do football players go when they need a new uniform?
New Jersey

vetteguy53081 · Feb 14, 2022

A gal goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, “I won a motorhome! I won a motorhome!” The waitress runs over and argues, “That’s impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stereo system!” The woman replies, “No! I won a motorhome!” By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table. He too argues, “You couldn’t possibly have won a motorhome because we didn’t have that as one of our prizes.” Again the gal says, “There is no mistake! I won a motorhome!” She hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, “WIN A BAGEL.”