Hahaha yeah they don't sound like much fun! There are some dwarf anglers that would fit in my tank, but they wouldn't be compatible with my current fish. I really want to find a cute "ugly" fish eventually though.a. Hagfish (Myxini) - It has a slime that it expels in a defense mechanism. I guess I'd prefer not to channel Peter Venkman and have to say, "He slimed me!" The cleanup would not be pretty either.
b. Angler fish (Linophrynidae) - I prefer not to have a carnivorous fish with large teeth that can reach 3 feet in length. Beyond preservation of my limbs that may enter the tank, if I wanted a "night light" in the tank, I'd get luminous jelly fish or shrimp.
c. Monkfish (Lophius) - Another fish that grows from 3-5 feet; however, it has the major negative of being able to swallow fish its own size or slightly bigger due to an extensible stomach. Strangely enough, I prefer fish that do not consume the rest of the tank population. The shape may enable it to hug the bottom and vacuum up my friends and tank budget.
Luckily, there are plenty of beauty challenged fish that are size appropriate, non-slimming, and will not eat your other inhabitants. You should find a "cute" one among them.
Yours in no fish shaming,
Jim