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Wow- you had a traumatic experience. You actually remember many events and sounds like the first responder was also a Jaws unit who got the Hearst cutters. The blanket was to keep the glass off of you as they were cutting. Officer was Level one ( Gosh you don't want code Blue - yikes).Hey there,
I have not done the step process yet, they said next week but I’m reluctant. It’s extremely painful to have any weight on my leg and I am using my left arm more than my right (it’s hard to put pressure on it), (I know it will hold (medically etc), but as a patient I tend to disagree ,) and trying to minimize my left leg.
I’m actually allergic to morphine I cant have any thing with it or I have horrible reactions to it, including (like serial killer type dreams which freak me out), found out when I was in med school.
So keep in mind I’m still trying to put my brain and memories back in place so trying to remeber as much as I can).
the accident itself happened so fast it’s honestly hard to explain. However afterwards, it what seemed like forever phased me and I was completely confused, but have no idea for how long. However after the officer screamed at me and shined a light asking if I was okay, I told him that I was pinned in my Jeep. What also seemed forever was the first responder which I think was a fire truck. I remember one of them literally took the passenger side door off, and they completely took the top off (my Jeep is a soft top so it two latches and away it goes. (Some May be out of order here), I then remember another officer showed up to assist, and was in the back of my Jeep to see if my seats would move back. (Do to the mechanism failing), while he was there another fire fighter took over for him or he may have been a responder, but then reached from behind the seat and put a neck brace on. Which from memory I couldn’t stop crying and I don’t think they could understand me. But I was trying to say my legs are hurting bad and pinned. Then some of it was a blur but I remember they placed a heavy blanket over me, and that’s when they literally ripped the door off of the Jeep. Right after is when level 1 or code blue (severe trauma specialist showed up). I remember telling them as they started an iv that I was allergic to morphine and I’m an 0 neg and the passcode to my phone to call my parents.
Mostly after that things I know from work were happening by I don’t remember them happening. I do remember parts where they secured me on a hard board (designer for head and spine injuries), and they literally strapped me down.
What also seemed like forever was Going to the ambulance and here is where I have very hard time. I know they were stabilizing me in the ambulance, but during that process I was moved to the st Luke’s life flight. That’s when I was I think wheeled over and some person was holding my hair. The next point was all I heard was close your eyes and they said lots of wind. Then it stopped and there was that aroma of jet fuel and this flight nurse was telling me all about the helicopter and how good the pilot was. It literally felt like an in and out experience time wise. Just as I had been placed in I was wheeled out on a platform on a roof. Then I remember four to five people around me, and I was wheeled in a level 5 (where they have dr there nurses officers, a person who documents everything etc). It’s a lot of people and scary to patients. This is where I think all of my clothes were cut off of me. They kept asking me questions and even now I csnt think of what they said.
as each day comes and goes, I find myself remembering things and other days I have to ask what happened. Some tell me like my dad they literally cut my Jeep in two to get me out. But I don’t remember anything about it. I get the time line confused as well, or sequence of events even now. I don’t remember the first three surgies at all. I csnt even recap the events after I was brought into the er (until the third day later). I have been trying to piece it together and it’s pretty overwhelming. but a goal of mine is to thank those who helped me but it’s hard when you can’t recognize them or even know their name. Even as I wrote this, I found myself second guessing the time line of events or trying to place events and search for others. It would be great if there was just one person who was with me the whole time, I would be able to figure the sudoku puzzle out. I have tried to write things down as a counselor suggested, but I find my self either hiding from it or crossing things out. The time from impact to 3 days later is gone in my mind. Events are hit and miss and it’s driving me crazy I have so lost my mind. I can’t solve the equation, I can’t find the variables, what’s worse is I’m terrified to figure out what the variables are, but not knowing is making me insane. Where or what does one do when they can’t remember anything for a period of 72 hours roughly. It’s bits and pieces before and more items after but from the er room to when I awoke and actually aware, are literally missing I search and cant find them. I can’t remember the collision, it literally phased me and life paused. For the life of me I can’t solve the math problem, I can’t find the variables, solving for x means nothing it won’t tell me a or b or y. I read this five times and changed it five times and the items I did write down I found myself second guessing. As I heal and my body heals, I’m scared my mind is broken.
Yes, you missed First 3 days as you were likely heavily sedated. The smell of Jet fuel indicates you were a hot load , meaning they left the chopper running as you were a code 1 trauma. I mention these as it will make sense what was happening around you as you try to solve the puzzle. Therapist journal is correct but don't go too deep in thought as you in a sense want to put it behind you.
Typically when we arrive at Trauma center, there is a surgical team, 2 physicians, O.R. recorder and social worker. (about 18 people) Not sure which sector you are pursuing . but you got a First hand understanding of Trauma and Trauma activity.
Some call it miraculous, but you have beaten the odds and well on your way to recovery, stability and strength