Good Morning!

[CMMorgan]

Visit to the doc was informative but not positive.
It looks like I have irreparable nerve damage at C3 and C5.
There are 4 points that the nerve is being compressed or pinched. Multiple herniated or bulging discs down to C7.
On a helicopter view, it's bad and it has gotten significantly worse since the previous MRI in January 2020.
That means the next conversation that I have is with the surgeon. It also means that this job that I have been doing for three years has been literally damaging. I'm pretty shook right now because this changes a lot of things.

If I have the surgery, it is unlikely that I can continue in my current role. I was just passed over for promotion, so that leaves nothing for me at this employer. The company is too small to be required to comply with "reasonable accomodations".

I have an interview on Monday and I heard from a competitor today that they have a position I could slide into. Both options would be about a 90 - 120 minute commute. Even if I would relocate, how do you go into an interview for a job knowing that you need to have pending surgery? I'm either honest in the interview and hope they are flexible or I hide the issue, push the can down the road a few months and then drop the bomb on them. Neither option feels great.

I guess I was delusional. I was really thinking they were going to tell me what the last doctor did ... that it was no big deal, we'll give you a shot or steroids and you'll be good. Feels like a gut punch of reality.

 

[WVNed]

Visit to the doc was informative but not positive.
It looks like I have irreparable nerve damage at C3 and C5.
There are 4 points that the nerve is being compressed or pinched. Multiple herniated or bulging discs down to C7.
On a helicopter view, it's bad and it has gotten significantly worse since the previous MRI in January 2020.
That means the next conversation that I have is with the surgeon. It also means that this job that I have been doing for three years has been literally damaging. I'm pretty shook right now because this changes a lot of things.

If I have the surgery, it is unlikely that I can continue in my current role. I was just passed over for promotion, so that leaves nothing for me at this employer. The company is too small to be required to comply with "reasonable accomodations".

I have an interview on Monday and I heard from a competitor today that they have a position I could slide into. Both options would be about a 90 - 120 minute commute. Even if I would relocate, how do you go into an interview for a job knowing that you need to have pending surgery? I'm either honest in the interview and hope they are flexible or I hide the issue, push the can down the road a few months and then drop the bomb on them. Neither option feels great.

I guess I was delusional. I was really thinking they were going to tell me what the last doctor did ... that it was no big deal, we'll give you a shot or steroids and you'll be good. Feels like a gut punch of reality.

Can you take FMLA and do you have any disability benefits?

What happens if your doctor puts a temporary medical restriction on you?

How does changing jobs affect your health insurance?

 

[BeltedCoyote]

Having had an experience where my employer forced me into an absurd commute situation and it ended up almost ruining my career despite my commitment to my job….

I can’t say I know enough to empathize with all you’re going through but I’ve had some things happen…@CMMorgan

but I’m only a pm away to vent.

 

[WVNed]

If you doctor says your job is doing this to you, workmen's comp.

 

[BeltedCoyote]

If you doctor says your job is doing this to you, workmen's comp.

agreed.

 

[CMMorgan]

If you doctor says your job is doing this to you, workmen's comp.

The company is too small, and it was a preexisting condition. The job has just made it worse. I don't think I have a claim here. I'll ask my HR husband in the morning but I think companies under so many employees and exempt. We don't even get insurance. We get a monthly allowance to put towards buying our own.

 

[CMMorgan]

Can you take FMLA and do you have any disability benefits?

What happens if your doctor puts a temporary medical restriction on you?

How does changing jobs affect your health insurance?

Company is too small for FMLA.
Good question on the medical restrictions... but that restriction pretty much eliminates my ability to do my job, so ... not sure where that leaves me. I may just need to suck it up and call the agency owner and give him the heads up as to what is happening. In a fantasy world, he finds a solution to keep me. In reality, he will probably start looking for my replacement.
My insurance is through my husband, so no issue there other than my paycheck.

 

[CMMorgan]

Having had an experience where my employer forced me into an absurd commute situation and it ended up almost ruining my career despite my commitment to my job….

I can’t say I know enough to empathize with all you’re going through but I’ve had some things happen…@CMMorgan

but I’m only a pm away to vent.

Thank you. That is my fear... both opportunities provide a company car. My current commute is about an hour and I do spend my life on the road. One of the opportunities would start my territory about 80 miles north of my house. I really think that is a relocation option only. The other covers a wider area but part of it is only 30 minutes north, so at least every day isn't 4 hours just driving. Still a lot to think about. I'm just overwhelmed.
I do greatly appreciate the shoulder.... thanks.

 

[fishguy242]

good morning all... :) thoughts with all,have a great weekend...:)

 

[WVNed]

Good morning

Stay safe, Stay healthy
cause
Saturday Nights All Right for Fighting

 

[WVNed]

Thank you. That is my fear... both opportunities provide a company car. My current commute is about an hour and I do spend my life on the road. One of the opportunities would start my territory about 80 miles north of my house. I really think that is a relocation option only. The other covers a wider area but part of it is only 30 minutes north, so at least every day isn't 4 hours just driving. Still a lot to think about. I'm just overwhelmed.
I do greatly appreciate the shoulder.... thanks.

So what if you just quit? You need to think outside the box. Your job is breaking your parts.
Take some time, get fixed, heal up, finish that degree. Sell the second car, cook at home.
Do something completely different.
I have been a pharmacy technician, store manager, CEO, Mainframe computer operator, Real estate appraiser,
telephone repair technician and 911 system installer. I never became invested in a career, just a paycheck.
You would be surprised how well general skills and a work ethic translate across different job opportunities.

And now I am nothing and you would be surprised how well you can make that work when you are forced to.
You will have to quit anyway when there is nothing left of you to work.

 

[WVNed]

I dont wish to alienate you so I am going to butt out of your business now with this final comment.

Thank you. That is my fear... both opportunities provide a company car. My current commute is about an hour and I do spend my life on the road. One of the opportunities would start my territory about 80 miles north of my house. I really think that is a relocation option only. The other covers a wider area but part of it is only 30 minutes north, so at least every day isn't 4 hours just driving. Still a lot to think about. I'm just overwhelmed.
I do greatly appreciate the shoulder.... thanks.

You are in so much pain you cant sleep at night but now you are talking about moving your household or working farther away.

I know you got slighted at work. It happens. I worked at the phone company when that was a big monopoly still. I was the first person hired off the street into the pay grade of top craft. I beat out 400 other applicants. I almost got beat up.
I must have been someone importants son or something. The was a labor issue and they came after me in a bathroom.
Top craft made more than 1st level management.

The most eminently qualified person for any job advancement was some managers family member. Even if they had zero skills. I had a manager with a history degree that didn't know how to use a screwdriver. True story.

I will say no more and go back to cat pictures now. I wish you the very best and hope you find a way that makes you happy and satisfied.
Good reefing to you.

 

[CMMorgan]

So what if you just quit? You need to think outside the box. Your job is breaking your parts.
Take some time, get fixed, heal up, finish that degree. Sell the second car, cook at home.
Do something completely different.
I have been a pharmacy technician, store manager, CEO, Mainframe computer operator, Real estate appraiser,
telephone repair technician and 911 system installer. I never became invested in a career, just a paycheck.
You would be surprised how well general skills and a work ethic translate across different job opportunities.

And now I am nothing and you would be surprised how well you can make that work when you are forced to.
You will have to quit anyway when there is nothing left of you to work.

Real estate ... that is a consideration.
Quitting .... slowing down ... I am a workaholic textbook definition of a Capricorn.
Just the idea of this makes me hyperventilate.

I do think that I am going to just live in denial until I speak directly with the surgeon. The ARNP did not tell me to stop working or give me restrictions. That is either because she did not think she had to or that I can keep going a while. Until I hear from a surgeon that I need to step off of merry go round, I'm going to keep spinning.
I applied for three positions with the competitor last night. I'm going to keep my eyes open for other opportunities and wait until I have more information to talk to the boss. I'll see how the interview goes on Monday and see where that leads. All of this sounded good at 4 am when the meds wore off and I felt like talking it out with my poor husband who would have rather been sleeping.

 

[WVNed]

Real estate ... that is a consideration.
Quitting .... slowing down ... I am a workaholic textbook definition of a Capricorn.
Just the idea of this makes me hyperventilate.

I do think that I am going to just live in denial until I speak directly with the surgeon. The ARNP did not tell me to stop working or give me restrictions. That is either because she did not think she had to or that I can keep going a while. Until I hear from a surgeon that I need to step off of merry go round, I'm going to keep spinning.
I applied for three positions with the competitor last night. I'm going to keep my eyes open for other opportunities and wait until I have more information to talk to the boss. I'll see how the interview goes on Monday and see where that leads. All of this sounded good at 4 am when the meds wore off and I felt like talking it out with my poor husband who would have rather been sleeping.

They will not unless you ask them to. For some people a job restriction is a kiss of death so to speak so the doctors will not usually start that conversation.

 

[CMMorgan]

I dont with to alienate you so I am going to butt out of your business now with this final comment.

You are in so much pain you cant sleep at night but now you are talking about moving your household or working farther away.

I know you got slighted at work. It happens. I worked at the phone company when that was a big monopoly still. I was the first person hired off the street into the pay grade of top craft. I beat out 400 other applicants. I almost got beat up.
I must have been someone importants son or something. The was a labor issue and they came after me in a bathroom.
Top craft made more than 1st level management.

The most eminently qualified person for any job advancement was some managers family member. Even if they had zero skills. I had a manager with a history degree that didn't know how to use a screwdriver. True story.

I will say no more and go back to cat pictures now. I wish you the very best and hope you find a way that makes you happy and satisfied.
Good reefing to you.

You are 100% right and I am not unappreciative or alienated in any way. The other jobs are in the same field but with different responsibilities that can extend my career without pain. What I do now is much more physical. I think I just need to hold on until I know more. I simply do not know what this surgery is going to entail or what the aftermath will look like.
I am just trying to set up where I will land when it is all over.

 

[ReefGrammie]

So what if you just quit? You need to think outside the box. Your job is breaking your parts.

This very thing happened to me about 6 years ago. I was in the same career, financial auditor, for a very large healthcare conglomerate. I'm salaried, so no compensation for overtime. We were constantly pressured to work 50+ hours per week. One day I calculated my needed work time based on my budgeted assignments and I would have had to work 23 hours per day for the rest of the year to meet my goals....I'm not kidding.

I showed up for a routine doctors appt and my BP was off the charts. The nurse kept coming in to check my BP and I was getting more and more upset every time she walked in the room, so that wasn't helping. My BP finally came down and my doctor asked what on earth was going on....he looked me straight in the eye and asked why I was letting this job do this to me. I went home strapped to a Holter monitor for 24 hours. Everything was ok, but husband said ENOUGH, and I turned in my notice. I ended up taking about a year off, where I was able to help with my elderly mother, help my sister after surgery, and just get my act together.

I went back into a similar job as a part-time contractor under a different company (no way I was going back to the other one) and eventually went back full time (yet a different company). I'm starting to feel the heat again with pressure for OT, but this time I can actually call it quits for good. I'd like to hold out until fall.

@CMMorgan, I hope you can find the right path. Your health (mental and physical) are worth it!

 

[WVNed]

You are 100% right and I am not unappreciative or alienated in any way. The other jobs are in the same field but with different responsibilities that can extend my career without pain. What I do now is much more physical. I think I just need to hold on until I know more. I simply do not know what this surgery is going to entail or what the aftermath will look like.
I am just trying to set up where I will land when it is all over.

There isn't much worse than direct nerve pain and horrible pain in parts of you that have nothing wrong with them.
I can tell you after my nerve release I felt better than I had in 10 years. They made me get up and be active right after the surgery. It reduces the swelling around the spinal area. I enjoyed pacing the hall because my left leg worked again.

 

[ReefGrammie]

Good morning! I'm going to try to make myself take a walk. I decided if I get up and put on my walking clothes/shoes right away, it might happen....well, it has a better chance than if I'm sitting around in my bathrobe until noon, which is my preferred Saturday attire.

I hope you all have a great day. We all need to take better care of ourselves. Our fish friends need us! :)

 

[dbowman5]

Good Morning!
CMM, I think i agree with Ned.
I was underemployed for years. that has its upside and downsides. i realized it was not feeding me so i went to work. due to issues of a physical nature, labor. pushing a shovel, became painful. but i did it anyway. I woke up one day and tried to psych myself into another difficult day because that was what i HAD to DO. i said to myself ' why don't you take the day off?' i asked me 'is that ok?' i said 'sure' I was so grateful and relieved. I found other work that didn't aggravate the damaged parts and was able to work relatively pain free for 27 years. When i realized that i was starting to 'lose a step' i was able to allow myself to retire and, again, see life in a new way.
think outside of your box my friend. you may be able to do what you need to; and see what it is you 'need' in a new light.
bless you. and all my companions-in-life. Viva la vida salada

 

[WVNed]

A long time ago I saw a picture in a textbook and I never forgot it.

A dog in a box standing with it front legs hooked over the side.

It was a psychology experiment. The floor of the box would shock the dog causing it pain. The box was low and the dog could jump out. The dog refused to momentarily put it's front feet down on the ground to be able to jump out of the box. That would increase it's pain though only momentarily, then it would be pain free.
It couldn't do it.

I vowed to never ever be that dog a long time ago. I have always jumped.