Modern Christmas Day Presents

[Paul B]

Most of us get cool stuff for Christmas and our birthdays but I am lucky as my birthday is actually on Christmas day.

Years ago I used to get a lot of presents because of that, but in those days everyone used to get more presents than now and that happens as we get older. We already have everything that we need so we get things like gift certificates for restaurants, Home depot, Regain, liposuction etc.

One big problem I, and I assume many older people have is we get a lot of electronics for gifts. Electronics don't work for old people and I honestly feel that feature is built into the device.

For instance this year I received from my wife a pedometer. I have been walking every day and I don't know if I am walking a mile or 20 miles so she got me this thing.

It is tiny and you wear it on your wrist. The "instructions" came on a piece of paper the size of those strips they put in fortune cookies and it is written in 5 languages none of which is English.

I just want the thing to tell me how many miles I walked and maybe the time, but that is an option I don't really need as I am retired and I don't care what time it is. I also don't need it to tell me what day it is because I am retired and every day is the same.

The device only has two buttons in it. One is marked "R" and one is marked "M".

I fooled around with it for most of Christmas day and it seems the "R" turns on a small light so you can read it after you fall in a storm drain because it is so tiny and you have to stare at it for a while and don't pay attention to where you are walking.

I think the "M" tells you how much weight Marie Osmond lost on Jenny Craig.



I am not yet sure how you can get it to tell you anything else but on the box it has all sorts of functions like your latitude, temperature, Blood pressure, footsteps, battery life, age of some rock singers, recipies etc.

So I wore it on my morning walk and all I can get it to do is tell me what time it is, in military time, but it is five and a half hours off. (I haven't yet used the function about Marie Osmond's weight) I was in the military and even then the time confused me so the thing is a great conversation piece and it will be relegated to my electronics drawer where I keep all my electronic gifts from years past because I have no idea how to use them.

Another gift that will go into that drawer is a lens set for my cell phone so I can take better pictures. There wasn't even a fortune cookie piece of paper to explain how to use these things but I figured out most of them through trial and error. The only part of it I can't figure out is the little remote push button that is supposed to tell the camera on your phone to take the picture. It says on it that it has a blue tooth. I swear I looked very hard and can't even find it's mouth so that will never work.


Also, what is this obsession with passwords? Why do I need a password for everything? I am running out of passwords and had to start using Greek Characters. Why do I care if someone steals my password for my electric bill? If you want to pay it for me, go ahead. Or my cell phone. If someone steals my phone and they don’t have my password, how would they call me to tell me where it is. I don’t keep any banking information on my phone because I don’t know how to.

Speaking of cell phones, I have an I Phone 4. I think they are now up to 42 or so. My wife keeps telling me I need to get with the times and get a new phone. But I think mine is much better than hers. . When she wants to make a call or ask the thing something, I hear:

Siri, call,,,,,,Siri,,,,Si,,,,Siri cal,,,,"Who do you want to call?"

Siri, Call Bob,,,,,,,,,,"Who do you want to call?" Siri, call Bobby Str......

"To make a call, you can say things like Siry, call so and so" . And it goes on like that.

Also her phone sometimes talks to her when she is not even asking it anything. Once we were in Church for a funeral mass. It was dead quiet as it is for most funeral masses. The priest was in a part of the ceremony that called for total quiet and no one was making a sound.

All of a sudden, from seemingly nowhere everyone in the church hears this blasting from my wife's pocketbook:

"I didn't get that. You can ask me things like When is George Washington’s birthday, How much does it cost to ride the subway, What is Bono's middle name, who was Julius Caesars accountant". Would you like to ask me a question?"

I have a really nice, simple phone and it is also nice looking. I am not sure what type of wood it is made out of but it always works no matter what.

When I want to make a call I just look up the number in my phonebook, which I keep in my back pocket. Then I put a dime in the slot and dial the person I want to call. It always works. (Only in my area code of course)

These electronic things also come in such small boxes that it doesn't seem like there is anything under the tree. I liked the old days when there were such big presents you couldn't see the tree. Like for instance one year I got a set of tires for my 1962 Pontiac Bonneville and once I got outdrives for my boat. Now those were some cool boxes.

 

[fish farmer]

Happy birthday!

You have a cell phone....huh.

I'm only 51 and hold out(mostly) on mobile devices. My first flip phone went in the river a few years ago, then I bought my "newer" Tracphone....takes crappy pictures and is usually dead or can't find service.

I was just discussing the password thing with my boss...thirty something in age and he was equally frustrated with the speed of tech. We have the "security training" for work. Make your password easy to memorize and don't write it down, I have to change certain passwords every couple months while others....the one for my yahoo account I had the same for years.

I think we should go back to using smoke signals or messages in a bottle.

 

[fishguy242]

i love it guys!!! 52 still have 1st windows phone 2010 i think ,still have to have my kids help me do something or another every now and then but works great ,wife and kids all buy next new phone ,and complain about them ,until a newer one comes out..a never ending cycle.

 

[Paul B]

I don't have a Yahoo account and don't know what it is. I only use AOL on my computer and my mail because thats what we had when they invented computers and thats what I have.
People look at me funny when I tell them my E Mail but it works. I don't go on Facebook because I know what my face looks like and I wrote a book. I don't need to see what millions of people are doing, what they are eating. and who they are eating with. I really don't care.

I also don't go on or know what Twitter is as I have been here for 72 years and so far have not needed it. I don't need to hashtag anyone nor know what that is for.

I have many friends from many years ago and when they want me to know what they are doing they will call me like human beings have been doing for 120 years.

In my stupidy I fought in a war, became a Sargent, rose to the top of my profession as a construction electrician foreman, wrote a book, acquired two patents and married a beautiful girl 47 years ago. In three months my reef tank will be fifty years old.

I think I did pretty good so far and still using AOL.

 

[driftin]

Happy birthday, my son is also a Christmas Birthday. He's of the age he's equally excited by electronics, books, and games. Fun times.

 

[Paul B]

He is a lucky boy. But at his age, I am sure he knows how to use them.
Happy Birthday.

I may see our 8 year old Grand Daughter tomorrow so I will bring those things as I am sure she knows all about them.

 

[Mike from TN]

I’m right there with you guys! I did have a “car phone” in the 80’s! Remember those?
Found a broken window and an empty phone cradle one morning when I went to go to work.
Does anyone have a cell phone just to make calls anymore? I do and it only has ONE camera lens. Old School!

 

[fish farmer]

I’m right there with you guys! I did have a “car phone” in the 80’s! Remember those?
Found a broken window and an empty phone cradle one morning when I went to go to work.
Does anyone have a cell phone just to make calls anymore? I do and it only has ONE camera lens. Old School!

I remember when cordless phones became a big deal....you could talk to people when you were out in your yard. Around the same time or before the phones were starting to use tones as well. You needed a touch tone phone to order certain things over the phone.

 

[Waters]

My biggest take away from this is that PaulB has a cell phone!! Who would have thought

 

[Paul B]

When I want to make an important call and know it will work. I use this grey phone on my wall.



The computer I use every day is Windows 7. It is probably 15 years old like my phone. I keep getting notifications from Windows telling me Windows 7 is no longer any good. It never crashed, doesn't get pop ups, never freezes or get viruses, never shows me pictures of Snowflakes in the news, and I don't have a firewall or virus program.
My wife's computer is the newest type and we had to replace it twice and had a guy come and fix it 3 times.

I will keep my Windows 7 Thank you very much.

I also have three Alexa's. One is in my Man cave but the other two are up in my house. I had one then we got another one. When I tried to set it up, they kept arguing with each other and the annoying part was that one is out of sync and answers 5 seconds later so it drives me crazy.

We now have a cleaning girl who comes every two weeks (my wife has MS and is a cleaning freak so she does the stuff where she has to move the furniture and stuff my wife can no longer do)
Her name is Alexa. Of course it is.

When I want to say something to her I have to call her Alex or Schwartz because the two Alexa's would go nuts. I think they are jealous. I finally had to change her name. Not the cleaning girl, the stupid electric thing.

 

[fish farmer]

This is what you need.

 

[Paul B]

I love that, where can I get it?

My phone takes pretty good pictures and now I use it instead of my "go to" camera.


It also takes pretty good movies and to see them, my wife and I set up the screen and watch them like everyone else does.

 

[atoll]

My birthday is on the 22 Dec and having 5 grown up children they struggle on what to buy me for my birthday and Christmas. I tell them not bothered about such things and Christmas is for kids like my grandchildren. So I tell them if they must buy ne something then vouchers from ny fav FLS would be great so I clean up. Mind you having 9 grandchildren it costs me just as much.

 

[Paul B]

So I tell them if they must buy ne something then vouchers from ny fav FLS would be great so I clean up. Mind you having 9 grandchildren it costs me just as much.

That sounds like a plan, but what exactly do they sell in a "FLS"? Flavored lip stick?

 

[atoll]

That sounds like a plan, but what exactly do they sell in a "FLS"? Flavored lip stick?

Fish in the local shop lol