Poll: Male or Female - Aquarist not the Fish!

[CeruleanLegacy]

Proud female aquarist and marine biologist (shellfish biologist working on the largest municipal oyster farm in the US) here. I have a 75 gallon reef, and while the tank is *MY* baby, my husband does contribute to the care of the tank. Bulk of the purchases (equipment, livestock, etc) are made by me, but my husband very much enjoys the look of the tank and often is the first to notice expansion of coral colonies or something out of place. While he is loathe to get his hands dirty or wet, he is very supportive of my crazy expensive hobby and accompanies me to conferences and trade shows. Since I've been pregnant with our first child, he's been a big help with water changes and topoffs since carrying 5 gallon buckets of water is out of the equation for me. Daily/weekly responsibility and maintenance (feeding, cleaning, water quality) of the tank is my job, but that's how I prefer it.

 

[jenjen]

One more female reefer here! Supportive husband but the reef is definitely mine, though he has been known to do a bit of plumbing for me.

 

[Gaines69]

I'm a single mom and I'm obsessed with this hobby. I even take care of the tank at my work. Both are FOWLR tanks and I can't get enough. I am living in a hotel right now (thanks to Harvey) and my tank is at a friends and I miss it like crazy.

 

[Sleepydoc]

Judging Male/Female on a chatroom like this seems like it's about like judging the sex of a fish - you're wrong half the time and even when you think you know you don't!

 

[MamaLovesHerReefTank]

Been at this for 3 years. Bought original tank for my husband for his 50th. Was supposed to be his tank. Quickly became ours. Although it is our tank, I do all the research, testing, coral buying etc. If hubby wants a new fish, I research it to make sure it is compatible with the other fish in the tank and find out it's requirements for food etc. I pick the corals and I do the aquascaping. I am 100% addicted. I read the forums here on a daily basis. We are planning to one day upgrade to a 180g. I am already building my aquascape with dry rock. He cleans the tank once a week. He feeds the tank when he is on day shift. He helps with the water changes. Since I work in a restaurant I always have cash on me so I pay for filter media, new fish, corals etc. We both pay for the tank, stand and equipment.

 

[Jessi_reefer]

I am a wife to a reefer on here but that doesn't mean that I'm not involved in the reef keeping of the tank. It is our tank and we both take care of it. I do testing on the tank so does he. I help with water changes and keeping parameters in check. Yes he does alot of the math behind it but that doesn't mean he is the sole person responsible for the tank. We have moved 2 times so far and I've been there to lift the tank and help set it back up. We are in it together. Just because we are the wife or gf of a reefer doesn't mean we aren't reefers. Just saying.

I completely agree with you. My husband and I both are the reef keepers and we take equal share of the work and the fun. We both pick out fish and corals and both enjoy going to fish stores and researching online. We both have our duties, like he cleans the filters while I change the water, but that's what makes it a great team effort.

I think women may see this more of a chore, not necessarily a waste of money. Some women tend to bear more of the household responsibilities so they may tend to not like to take on extra work. I'm thinking specifically of my mom, she'd just see it as one more thing she'd have to clean up after. Lol. I love our tank, but we also have a dog, two cats, a koi pond, and a winter time garage tank for the non-wintering koi pond inhabitants. Each one separately isn't a lot of work but combined it gets to be a lot.

It does seem to be heavily male dominated though. Whenever my husband and I go to different fish stores or events we always get shocked looks when people find out I'm just as involved and enjoy it as much as he does. I have definitely heard "wow, most wives don't like this" or "my wife won't help me at all with this stuff" on numerous occasions.

I also wonder if some women tend to like the cuddly pets more?

Interesting topic! Thanks for starting it

 

[Chrysantha]

Female here and I'm the one begging my husband to let me get a tank. My daughter loves all things animals and I figure is a great way to show her how to care for things before we are ready to get her a dog (we need more space and she's only 19 months). I'm also the more technical one in my home so I think this may play part into why I'm fascinated by it. I can't wait to get my first real tank!

 

[Ladysaber]

Female here

Hubby bought me a 30g tank on our first anniversary nearly 20 years ago. I'm now up to a 120g tank, a 40g tank, and a 10g jellyfish tank.

He has nothing to do with the tanks, except to stare at them and tell me I need to clean the glass .

We've never not had a tank. I did take a break from saltwater during the time period of being pregnant and getting my 3 kids out of diapers. I've been fully back in the hobby for over 6 years now and loving every minute of it.

 

[tgionet]

Another female here. And here's another question for you, why are there so few younger reefers? I personally only know of 3 reefers around my age (early 20s), actually one of those left the hobby so 2. I have yet to come across a female reefer my age. Kind of lonely .

I’d say it’s lack of funds. Many apartments and landlords won’t allow aquariums at all either. It’s not hard to hit 10000+ and many people our age don’t have anywhere near that level of disposable income.

 

[ShyShy]

Female reefer as well I've been in the hobby for most of my life. I just didn't really get into writing on forums till recently. Been a silent stalker for years because most questions I've had, I've been able to find answers to on past threads. A little more active now because I'm out of school and have more time to get into the social parts of the hobby.
My mom is actually the person who really encouraged my interest. She bought my first reef tank and shared the hobby with me. From my perspective, a lot of the absence of women is the same reason as the lack of women in jobs that involve science, tech, and manual labor. Those interests just aren't really nurtured from a young age and therefore not pursued later in life. I think that's changing a bit, but it's what I've observed for my generation (90s kid) and those before me.

 

[Maritimer]

Glad to see that there are more than a few female reefers out there! When I've been to meetings or shows like Frag-Farmers' or Reef-A-Palooza, the gathered have been heavily skewed toward the male gender - though the Husbandry Department at the public Aquarium where I spend my weekends probably skews slightly female.

~Bruce, idly wondering ... why?

 

[zippgirlRN]

Another Female reefer here. I get tired of going to the fish stores to pick up an aquarium and the guy asking my husband what he is going to put in the tank. I quickly reply that this is my hobby not his and he is only here because of his muscles (I'm a petite woman). I think there is more female reefers out there than we realize, but I know I choose to read and research over posting because I feel there too much testosterone and bickering in most forums. Reef2Reef is definitely the best forum I have found and much better at trying to create a friendly environment for all. I can only speak for myself but maybe that is why other female reefers don't post also. However this is definitely a male dominated hobby.

 

[code4]

All girl here. I love flower gardening also. Baking and weight lifting. But I am not techy! Husband helps with that. I wonder why I do not see as many women here also. Wonder if it is a time issue. There are only so many hours in a day. My husband helps me. I also help him though. We have two lawn mowers, one for each of us. I go to his classic car meetings and shows with him. I show interest in him. Maybe that is why he helps me. Maybe not. I could not care for the 140 gallon on my own. It takes two to remove the hood. I do care for the smaller tanks on my own. I choose most of the inhabitants. At work the guys who have fish ask me for help at times. Makes me feel good. My career choice is also male dominated, law enforcement. ;Stop
Shelley

 

[metrokat]

Can I play?

 

[vlangel]

Older, (as in late 50s) female reefer here. I also have had fish tanks since high school. I tried just about everything except a planted discus aquarium in freshwater. I did not move into saltwater until the late 90s when I got a job at a lfs. I immediately loved the vibrant colors of the fish and all the diversity of inverts like shrimp, crabs and starfish. It took a few years before I saw the charm of coral.

I actually began taking care of our store's maintenance accounts. I loved carrying a toolbox to work. I was good at what I did and the tanks I maintained ran without a hitch for years and looked good too. I got competent at rescaping on the fly and troubleshooting equipment. It was a great job. I only left it to care for my elderly mother in law.

I love everything but coral and macro algae are a backround and natural enviroment for my true love which are seahorses. My husband has always called me Limpet because I stare in my tank a lot and I do it now more than ever. My hubby is supportive but I do most everything myself with the tank. He did drill the holes in our livingroom floor so I could install a diy sump in our basement.

Honestly, I was surprised at the lopsided poll results. I expected more guys than gals but not nearly by such a large margin.

 

[Saltysav96]

Another female here. And here's another question for you, why are there so few younger reefers? I personally only know of 3 reefers around my age (early 20s), actually one of those left the hobby so 2. I have yet to come across a female reefer my age. Kind of lonely .

im a female reefer in there early 20s! (21) also from South Carolina!

 

[CanadianReefer]

Female here as well - though I think the pic gives it away. My husband thinks the aquarium is cool and he helps me with the maintenance, but it's me who spends the cash, pays the water bill and does all the research.

He doesn't want to know how much I spend lol - and that's probably for the best! ;-)

 

[Cosmic Coral]

Lady here.
My other complicated hobby, orchid growing, is also heavily male skewed.

I don't pretend to know why, but perhaps I am blind to it due to being a freak of sorts. You see, I was a mechanical engineer specializing in design of machinery for 25 years. Guess I still am, though I am no longer practicing.

It is possible that the female reefers are out there, they just are gettin it done quietly instead of blah blah blahing online. Lol.

Same! I am a serious orchid grower specializing in paphs, phrags, masdevallias, and restrepia. In a typically male dominated field am a property manager and do many of the repairs myself. I cut, primed, and glued all the 1" pipes on my reef which included a "bean animal" with 3 unions, valve, and I drilled the glass myself! I started drilling glass when I started growing the orchids semi-hydroponically and have drilled glass as thin as beer glass thinness.

My mom just looks at it as "so much work" but I just feel like there is nothing I would rather be doing! I'm a mom to 4 kids and my 14 year old daughter has 3 FW tanks in her room, so in her I see a future reef-geek. My son is older but more into land-ecology. It is definitely easier to get into the reef keeping hobby in later years when finances are more stable and for better or worse I have no one I have to "explain" anything to as to where all the money went LOL!

 

[CanadianReefer]

I wonder if ladies tend to be more hesitant about using forums because of the potential of unwanted contact? I've never encountered it here, but on other forums and social media outlets, I have received undesirable attention... just a thought!

 

[jenjen]

Female here as well - though I think the pic gives it away. My husband thinks the aquarium is cool and he helps me with the maintenance, but it's me who spends the cash, pays the water bill and does all the research.

He doesn't want to know how much I spend lol - and that's probably for the best! ;-)

Hah my husband periodically asks how much things cost. I tell him I can't remember. He's good with that.

He also can't remember how much things cost for his hobbies so it works itself out.