Some thoughts on stressing out

Paul B

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Maybe it's me, I don't know. I sometimes sit in front of my tank for an hour and just marvel at the beauty. I look at the fish interacting with each other and even after a lifetime of doing it, it still facinates me. When I look real close and notice the tiny tentacles from the brittle stars or the bristle worms peering out from under a rock I am like a little kid. I try hard to see the copepods scampering over the edges of the glass where I can't clean and watch them running around bumping into each other. I wonder if they are interacting with each other, or just nearsighted. Do they pass by and wave? give a high five? or just say hello?
I don't worry about the little bit of hair algae, cyano, flatworms, bubble algae or slight tear on the tail of a fish. It's a hobby and if I did not see some of these things, I would get bored. If the corals seem to be thriving and the fish seem "happy" I never worry about any parameters. The fish will let me know if something is wrong.
I don't even have test kits. But if I see something out of the ordinary, I may buy one or have the water tested at an LFS. Let them buy the test kit.
I don't go crazy about the water temperature or salinity. It is "close" to what is is supposed to be. Close is close enough. That is also the reason I don't own a refractometer.
If I am away or out late, I don't worry that I can't feed them that day or two days. I know they will be fine, just a little mad at me.
I have no schedules as to water changes. When I have time and it seems like a couple of months go by, I change some water.
Just today my wife asked me if I did anything to the tank. I said no, why? She said because the corals all look so big and healthy. For some reason, today they are larger. Why? I have no idea but I know that tomorrow they will look small, maybe not. It all goes in cycles, I guess sometimes corals have good days and bad days, just like us.
When I read through some of these forums and see all the stress that some people have over this hobby I am amazed. It has never been a source of stress for me.
Maybe I am just older than most members. But I don't think I was ever stressed. Well, I was stressed but not from this hobby.
When I want to relax, I don't go on the forums. It is stressful, reading about all the stress.
Posts like "OMG" I see a spot on my tang" or "OMG hair algae on everything" or "Flatworms, where can I get flatworm exit", should I cook my rock?
"My temp went down two degrees".
Maybe it's me. But I am going to pour myself a nice glass of Merlot, put on some nice music. ( No, not Lady GaGa.)
and chill out while I wait for summer and boating season.:angel:
 

Aquaph8

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I too fell the relaxation when staring at my tank but also have the frustrations once in a while. This hobby doesn't always go the way I want it and it does require a certain ammount of patience. Its hard to lose that fish you've been searching for, for what seems like forever. I think we do get to that point where we stop worrying about water parameters so much and start to enjoy the hobby a lot more. I agree Paul, its always the little things that are the most fun to watch too. I think I know what your saying but at the same time I believe we are in two very different places in our lives. Im gonna grab a beer and listen to my 2 year old run by screaming while he chases my five year old and count down the seconds until my wife screams at them both. LOL Cheers, heres to the fish.
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Oh yeah, I went through that 2 year old thing, I feel for you, but in 25 years or so, it gets a little better. I am waiting for my first Grandchild due in July.
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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She was born July 8th and I am teaching her about UG filters and not stressing out, even when she needs a new diaper.
I think she gets it.
If I feel I am getting stressed, I think of her.
We babysat for a few days last week and I ignored the fish, they got over it as they always do.
IMG_2076.jpg

IMG_2065.jpg

Greta3weeks010.jpg

Gretta2ndday005.jpg
 

Mike&Terry

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Awwwe... she is precious!
 

Paul C.

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Great attitude Paul B... We forget the lil things, and create larger (usually in our own minds). Congrats on that lil package of joy. Great looking tank btw... Oh, and ur hat, Thank You Paul.
 
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Paul B

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Thanks guys. Whenever someone asks me how I am (and we know that most of the time people are just being nice and really don't care) I always say "Fantastic". No matter who it is or how I feel. They usually say something like "Wow" I didn't expect that.
When you ask most people how they are they usually say something like "I could be better" or "this or that hurts" or I got so many problems, I am so busy, I wish I had someone elses life, My girlfriend hates me, I wish a Supermodel would go out with me etc.
Who wants to hear all of that? I live in the US and I have seen the way most of the rest of the world lives, especially in third world countries so I am real happy with my life. I am also old so of course everything hurts, it is supposed to hurt that is part of getting old, if it didn't hurt, you would be dead.
We all have problems, some of us have big problems but I always feel that no matter what problem I think I have, most of the people in the world have bigger problems so I am happy with my problems.
None of us really have fish tank problems because we don't need a fish tank. I also don't have boat problems because although I love my boat, no one really needs a boat.
We feel that we have a big problem because maybe it is the worse thing that has happened to us. As we get older, more things happen to us that are worse and the smaller things don't seem like a big deal. I am kind of "lucky" in regard to that (if you could call it luck) because when I was 19 I fought in a war. That was not a really great part of my life but I lived and in that war 60,000 twenty or so year olds didn't.
I have seen people jump from buildings and get hit by a train. Die on motorcycles and drown. I Also have seen quite a few people die from heart attacks and gunshots.
So now, if I see someone injured or dead, it is not that big of a deal, but if I was 16 and I saw someone get hit by a car or have a big accident, It would have been a big deal.
I watched in person the Trade Center Fall. What could be worse? So petty "problems" don't affect me.
If my tank crashes tomorrow, maybe I will make a planter out of it. Or keep mudskippers. I could put my hub cap collection in it, first I would have to collect hub caps.

So you younguns, as you get older, your "problems" will all get smaller, or at least seem that way.

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LegoZ81

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So you younguns, as you get older, your "problems" will all get smaller, or at least seem that way.
Words to live by!
Your granddaughter is beautiful! Congratulations!
As always the tank looks great!
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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Your granddaughter is beautiful!
Thanks, I only made that last post so I could have an excuse to put up another picture of her :smile:
 

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Paul B, I really like your posts. And your fish tank.
 

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Congrats Paul!!! The Sesame Street room looks great!!!! I love the outlook that you have on things. I use the same line when someone asks me how I am. I think it takes too much energy to dwell on the negative. Lately, a lot of people have been asking me how am I holding up after an unfortunate incident. I tell them I am great and they look at me like I'm crazy. In my mind, the situation could be so much worse and everyone else needs to stop dwelling on it. I know I'm not. :)
 

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Maybe it's me, I don't know. I sometimes sit in front of my tank for an hour and just marvel at the beauty. I look at the fish interacting with each other and even after a lifetime of doing it, it still facinates me. When I look real close and notice the tiny tentacles from the brittle stars or the bristle worms peering out from under a rock I am like a little kid. I try hard to see the copepods scampering over the edges of the glass where I can't clean and watch them running around bumping into each other. I wonder if they are interacting with each other, or just nearsighted. Do they pass by and wave? give a high five? or just say hello?
I don't worry about the little bit of hair algae, cyano, flatworms, bubble algae or slight tear on the tail of a fish. It's a hobby and if I did not see some of these things, I would get bored. If the corals seem to be thriving and the fish seem "happy" I never worry about any parameters. The fish will let me know if something is wrong.
I don't even have test kits. But if I see something out of the ordinary, I may buy one or have the water tested at an LFS. Let them buy the test kit.
I don't go crazy about the water temperature or salinity. It is "close" to what is is supposed to be. Close is close enough. That is also the reason I don't own a refractometer.
If I am away or out late, I don't worry that I can't feed them that day or two days. I know they will be fine, just a little mad at me.
I have no schedules as to water changes. When I have time and it seems like a couple of months go by, I change some water.
Just today my wife asked me if I did anything to the tank. I said no, why? She said because the corals all look so big and healthy. For some reason, today they are larger. Why? I have no idea but I know that tomorrow they will look small, maybe not. It all goes in cycles, I guess sometimes corals have good days and bad days, just like us.
When I read through some of these forums and see all the stress that some people have over this hobby I am amazed. It has never been a source of stress for me.
Maybe I am just older than most members. But I don't think I was ever stressed. Well, I was stressed but not from this hobby.
When I want to relax, I don't go on the forums. It is stressful, reading about all the stress.
Posts like "OMG" I see a spot on my tang" or "OMG hair algae on everything" or "Flatworms, where can I get flatworm exit", should I cook my rock?
"My temp went down two degrees".
Maybe it's me. But I am going to pour myself a nice glass of Merlot, put on some nice music. ( No, not Lady GaGa.)
and chill out while I wait for summer and boating season.:angel:

I TOTALLY disagree!......Merlot?! Crack open the Pinot Noir, or better yet, lets celebrate the stress with a bottle of Campaigne :) Merlot gives me stress!!
Great post, and even better attitude. I just finished watching a documentary called "Happy" on Netflix. Lately I've been a little down and needed a pick-er-upper. Its about the psychology of being happy, and by far it was one of the better documentaries I've seen in a very long time. The most important thing I learned is that money DOES buy you happiness. Well, kind of. Based on the documentary, if a person living below poverty level makes $5,000 a year and happens to somehow increase that to $10,000 per year. That person will show a great increase in long term happiness. Why? Well, because they're now able to afford the basic essentials...clean drinking water for the family, food (even if its bread or crackers), government aid, etc. So here's the interesting part... Studies showed that if you're in the middle class making $50k a year and you happen to get a bonus of let say $25K, this will have zero effect on you're long term happiness. Sure it'll bring some short term positive emotion, like the feeling you get when buying a better car or a bigger house, but it has zero long term happiness effect. It's funny, the poor person recieve $5K extra and his long term happiness level went through the roof, while the middle class person received FIVE TIMES that amount and had zero effect on his long term happiness. Moral of the story, monetary happiness is capped once you're able to afford bread and water.

Hence the importance of a positive attitude. So yeah Paul, even thou my girlfriend dumped me, my SPS browned out, I just got a parking ticket.............I'm feeling FANTASTIC!
 
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Paul B

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!......Merlot?! Crack open the Pinot Noir,

Actually I make Pinot Noir and we had a few bottles last night on the boat. I took 6 of my wife's friends to dinner by boat. Well I took them on the boat and left them in a restaurant on the water and picked them up later so they could talk about whatever girls talk about.
After you crush all those grapes with your feet, you have to bottle it and put the corks in.

Coralwars025.jpg
 
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Paul B

Paul B

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that money DOES buy you happiness. Well, kind of. Based on the documentary, if a person living below poverty level makes $5,000 a year and happens to somehow increase that to $10,000 per year. That person will show a great increase in long term happiness.

When we were first married I was bringing home $52.00 a week as an aprentice electrician, my wife made a little more. We didn't have much but we always talk about how happy we were and little things meant so much. We have great frends and we have had some of them since grammar school.
Now I make a little more money and I can afford a new car occasionally and nice trips to far away places.
We are still very happy and little things still mean a lot.
Of course things happen, we are older now and we have lost some good friends but thats what happens when we get older. We and everyone else dies, if they didn't, it would be a very crowded place.
I don't plan of dying for quite a while but it is not usually in our plans when we do. There are a lot more places I want to see and plenty of unfinished inventions bouncing around in my head.
I try to make the best out of every day and I am basically a happy person, it is a shame that so many people go through life just conplaining when they could be enjoying the world.
Yesterday I helped out a friend and took down a plaster wall in his kitchen. It took most of the day because there were quite a few electrical wires to re locate. I smashed my finger and it is a nice purple, or is it mauve (real men don't know the color mauve) But it could have been worse, my fish could have gotten ich. :embarassed:
 
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