So here it is 2012-2013 and I’m retired from wrestling career while I can still walk and tie my shoes. I went stright back to my ocean and bought my very own commercial fishing boat , she was sweet I named her GIMMICK which is a wrestling word used a lot and could mean just about anything but mostly referred to drugs, as in “ yo brother got any Gimmicks “ plus it’s a fun word to say.
I realized that now that I’m a fishing boat captain and I have the lives of two people in my hands that have wives n children there is no way I can be all scrambled up in pills n powder, something had to change
This is when it gets bad for me because I just quit cold turkey and went thru the detox from hell
Just so you have a little idea what the doctors do to us I’ll give you a quick summary of what they gave me on a monthly basis
First it just started with Vicodin 5s then when that didn’t work anymore it went to 10s,, well after a while they didn’t work so on to Percocet
first the 5s then the 10s (getting 150 pills a month) and that didn’t include the crap I bought on the black market. Well they stopped being effective and on to Rockycodone first the 15s then on to the 30s I was doing 20-30 pills a day just to be numb and not feel the pain I was in from my list of injuries. And of course a crap load of Xanax to help me sleep. Even all that stopped working on me then all sudden I was given liquid morphine and a bunch of needles and told “ just hit yourself when you need it” and that was for two years. I used to have a big crystal bowl in my bedroom that was half full of an assortment of pills (looked like bowl of jellybeans) and I was resuplied all these meds on a monthly basis for 13years
So now that you have slight idea of what I was on you can imagine how bad my detox was.
I spent a month in bed crying, sweating, shaking, even crapped myself couple times, it was a dark time for me I was so miserable I wanted to die,, then I remember my two daughters came in my room and basically nursed me like a baby,, that made me feel worthless at the time , I felt like the worst father ever and wanted to die. Then one day when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore I remember screaming at the top of my lungs to God “WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH AND GAVE ME A MISERABLE LIFE “ I cried for half that day and fell into o comma type sleep for two days
When I woke up I smelled bad but felt ok all sudden,, I was able to drag my butt into the shower and it felt like the best cleansing I’ve ever felt, and for some reason I wasn’t angry
But my relationship with God wasn’t better yet but I pulled thru and was able to continue being a fishing boat captain.
I haven’t touched an opioid or cocaine ever since and that was seven years ago( but I still love my Oregano
More to come as things in my life get better from here
Nah trick_tran, you seem to be minded on the wrong historical? Paulie is a knock out classical character from Melville:I dont no man.. this is what i see when you say "Fish Boat Captain". In my head I hear "Shrimp Kabobs, Shrimp Gumbo, Shrimp Sandwich......"
thank youHappy Birthday My Friend!
Sweet so cool for you to man up and do right thing God Bless my friendHappy BIRTHDAY The big 35
here is a RAOK
So my boss (Brad) informed me the other day that at the manager meeting our big boss (Bob) gave all the mangers except him Mpower points (they convert to cash which out company pays the taxes on for us so its like free money!), but he was told to give me some. Brad told me he was more than happy to do that but that he was a little hurt he didn't get any! Honestly so was I. My boss is great, most laid back guy ever! Easy to get along with and truly likes to do top notch work and explains things to me in a way I understand. Well I decided that I wasn't going to just let this go and sent a short email to Bob. Explaining to him that it had come to my attention that all the other managers received these points except mine. That if it wasn't for Brad I couldn't do what I do everyday to support the rest of our warehouse. I ended with, "Thats just my 2 cents"
A little while later Bob came and said "I don't know how you know things, but thank you." Later Brad told me Bob APOLOGIZED! and quickly rectified the mpower situation. When Brad told me that I just smiled and said well you deserve them as much as anyone else!
Made my day to see him smile! I am blessed to have an amazing boss!
I’m really not special or anything, I’m just sharing my life story just to get it out of my head it been there buried for 50 hrs and therapy is expensive so this was second choice. Even if nobody read it it was very healthy and healing to get it out. Plus nobody can see you cry behind a keyboard lolSooo don’t know how I missed like 3 pages of post but I’m all caught up!
@Paulie069 your an amazing person! You wouldn’t be the amazing person you are if you didn’t go through the stuff you went through. Life gives you want you need and what you can handle!
I’ve said it before.
But I love you! You give me the hope and willpower to stay clean!
"GOLD"..PaulieI’m really not special or anything, I’m just sharing my life story just to get it out of my head it been there buried for 50 hrs and therapy is expensive so this was second choice. Even if nobody read it it was very healthy and healing to get it out. Plus nobody can see you cry behind a keyboard lol
Plus I’m positive I’m not only one that has been thru these things ,, actually I’m positive that there are many many people out there that had or still have it much worse than me,, and for those people I feel and pray they find their happiness. God Bless much love