Why are we moving away from wish lists??

[Santa Claus]

You may have noticed that in our rules this year, we stated that we're moving away from using wish lists in Elfster. Here is the statement from the registration thread:

• About Elfster wishlists: We're getting away from using these this year. Instead, we're asking each participant to make a more detailed profile and asking each Secret Santa to get a gift based on that profile. Our hope is that this will take some of the focus off of receiving and refocus us on giving and why we do this to begin with. We realize some of you may still enjoy making wish lists, and we're fine with you doing that, but know that your Secret Santa is being encouraged not to really look at that for gift giving this year.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1) In the past, we have had some difficulty with individuals making wish lists that only (or almost only) contained large ticket items. This was discouraging for many Secret Santas who wanted to give a good gift, but felt like what their recipient was expecting was far more expensive than they were able to provide. As you can imagine this certainly works against the spirit of what we're trying to do with our Secret Santa gift exchange.

2) We want to place the emphasis back on giving rather than receiving (or on creating an elaborate wish list). We felt that an exchange where (instead of pointing people to lists of gift ideas) we encourage you to really try to get to know your recipient would bring us back to an emphasis on giving and spreading joy which is truly what the R2R Secret Santa event is all about!! After all, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." So we want to place the emphasis back on giving!

Ultimately, the goal of the R2R Secret Santa has always been about us spreading holiday cheer and joy with one another. It's something we hope allows reefers to connect with one another and get to know one another. It's a kind of gift-giving experience that has us sharing kindness and thinking of others and...getting to play the role of Santa Claus for another person and really brighten their holiday!

So that's why we're asking everyone to not focus on wish lists. In fact, we're encouraging you not to even look at them. Instead, look at the information in the profile of your recipient, and maybe even poke around their other posts (their build thread is a good place to look). Then, get a gift that you think would be a good fit for them.

#R2RSecretSanta
@R2R Secret Santa 2022

 

[Reefing102]

Well that’s a shame this is turning into a data collection event. Guess it’s a guessing game for whoever gets me unless they look at my lists

 

[blaxsun]

An easy way to avoid the "big ticket item syndrome" would be to place a dollar cap. I mean, I thought the whole point was the gesture itself...

I've participated in umpteen "Secret Santa" events over the years; it's all about lowering expectations and not necessarily looking for something specific from a list. Sometimes I got really cool hand crafted stuff which wasn't even necessarily on my radar, but ended up being way cooler than anything I could think of.

For those being complete idiots with unrealistic expectations - I recommend candy coal. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[acesfull44]

Well that’s a shame this is turning into a data collection event. Guess it’s a guessing game for whoever gets me unless they look at my lists

Really? That is your reaction? There is no personal information being shared here that would put you or your family in harms way! Other than your shipping addy, which obviously every vendor would have anyway (and google, the govt and every other conspiracy you could think of), this is a way for the person who gets your name to share in the experience of the holiday season! The rules clearly state your SS would need to do some homework (through your build thread, your posts, etc. and yes your wish list if you so chose). Man I hope you don't actually feel like your giving up something your uncomfortable with by participating. I am confident your SS will provide you with a gift that falls within the rules or in reason that if it happens to coincide with your "list" then everyone wins!

 

[Stang67]

I made a list but I also have a build thread and post pretty regular. So whomever gets me can dig or not, they can decide.

 

[Cell]

Feels like an unintended consequence will be receiving an item you don't need or already own. Of course, it's about the giving, but I also want to know my gift was actually useful to the recipient not just another gadget collecting dust in the fish room.

 

[blaxsun]

I think some people are overthinking this (one reason why I chose to opt out of Xmas gifts well over a decade ago and haven't looked back...)

 

[vetteguy53081]

You may have noticed that in our rules this year, we stated that we're moving away from using wish lists in Elfster. Here is the statement from the registration thread:

• About Elfster wishlists: We're getting away from using these this year. Instead, we're asking each participant to make a more detailed profile and asking each Secret Santa to get a gift based on that profile. Our hope is that this will take some of the focus off of receiving and refocus us on giving and why we do this to begin with. We realize some of you may still enjoy making wish lists, and we're fine with you doing that, but know that your Secret Santa is being encouraged not to really look at that for gift giving this year.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1) In the past, we have had some difficulty with individuals making wish lists that only (or almost only) contained large ticket items. This was discouraging for many Secret Santas who wanted to give a good gift, but felt like what their recipient was expecting was far more expensive than they were able to provide. As you can imagine this certainly works against the spirit of what we're trying to do with our Secret Santa gift exchange.

2) We want to place the emphasis back on giving rather than receiving (or on creating an elaborate wish list). We felt that an exchange where (instead of pointing people to lists of gift ideas) we encourage you to really try to get to know your recipient would bring us back to an emphasis on giving and spreading joy which is truly what the R2R Secret Santa event is all about!! After all, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." So we want to place the emphasis back on giving!

Ultimately, the goal of the R2R Secret Santa has always been about us spreading holiday cheer and joy with one another. It's something we hope allows reefers to connect with one another and get to know one another. It's a kind of gift-giving experience that has us sharing kindness and thinking of others and...getting to play the role of Santa Claus for another person and really brighten their holiday!

So that's why we're asking everyone to not focus on wish lists. In fact, we're encouraging you not to even look at them. Instead, look at the information in the profile of your recipient, and maybe even poke around their other posts (their build thread is a good place to look). Then, get a gift that you think would be a good fit for them.

#R2RSecretSanta
@R2R Secret Santa 2022

Im in agreement with this change. Been a past issue and discouraged many over the last 3 years

 

[Kellie in CA]

I think it’s great.! The whole point of something like this is not the actual
Item you are receiving, it’s supposed to be fun and a surprise. There is really nothing too exciting about receiving another box straight from Amazon with an item you picked out yourself. I try to send multiple packages (a few small things…. then a big one ) and everything is always wrapped.
The more thought you put into it the more fun it is!

 

[nezw0001]

I love this change!! I don't even want something for my tank. I want something that relates to where my fellow reefer is from. Some handi crafts, t shirts, food, what ever. I would like to know my R2R friends better, not just get something I could easily buy myself.

 

[Daniel@R2R]

As Santa said, the idea here is to put the emphasis back on giving rather than receiving. For those worried about it, note that there's no rule that says "You can't use wish lists." This guideline simply takes the pressure off of people from needing to buy off of a wish list or of people even needing to create them. They can be used or not. The idea is to simply refocus this event on giving and spreading joy (no data collection involved ). Let's keep this event a positive one that spreads joy in our community!

 

[Cell]

I don't know about others, but I'm lost without wish lists from friends and family around Xmas. It's stressful for me trying to come up with good gift ideas and no list. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

 

[Waboss]

Personally, I counted on the list to give me an idea of what the person would actually use, rather than me just guessing or getting them something "neat", but ultimately not useful. It was helpful option to have.

I do understand the sentiment behind the decision. I just think that a stance of "use it if you like", but if not, that's ok too, would be a better "solution".

I guess it's harder for me as I don't care if my "giftee" only puts high end things on their list. If they do that, and it's beyond what I'm comfortable spending, then I just get some of the "neat" things I mentioned above. They may not get things they can actually use because they didn't put anything in the lower price bracket on their list ($25-$50). That's on them, not me.

 

[Daniel@R2R]

I just think that a stance of "use it if you like", but if not, that's ok too, would be a better "solution".

This is essentially the way it works. Anyone who wants to use wish lists can do it. We're simply no longer encouraging that because of past issues. If you prefer it, that's totally fine. However, we're encouraging people to focus on giving and getting to know one another as a community (which is why we have this event each year).

 

[r20crazy]

I have no tank, I wish to participate still, and not on here often anymore. an elsfster list my be my santa's recipient only hope as long time since posted anything tank related or had time to surf here.

 

[Reefing102]

Really? That is your reaction? There is no personal information being shared here that would put you or your family in harms way! Other than your shipping addy, which obviously every vendor would have anyway (and google, the govt and every other conspiracy you could think of), this is a way for the person who gets your name to share in the experience of the holiday season! The rules clearly state your SS would need to do some homework (through your build thread, your posts, etc. and yes your wish list if you so chose). Man I hope you don't actually feel like your giving up something your uncomfortable with by participating. I am confident your SS will provide you with a gift that falls within the rules or in reason that if it happens to coincide with your "list" then everyone wins!

For me it has nothing to do with putting my family in harms way. I already know my address isn’t hard to find. I put as little information in my profile for a reason. The more info I put in my profile the more targeted the ads and other useless “suggestions” are sure to follow. My SS can buy me whatever they like, however my profile will be lacking, my build thread isn’t updated, and yea. I just don’t share my life like others I guess. If you can find my Facebook profile (honestly not that hard regardless of privacy settings), then you’ll see most recent posts from maybe 5-10 years ago?

I don't know about others, but I'm lost without wish lists from friends and family around Xmas. It's stressful for me trying to come up with good gift ideas and no list. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Also this^^^. I sincerely hope whomever I get has a list. With current life issues, I don’t have time to do much digging.

I will say I do understand the premise but I guess never realized it was that big of an issue. I can’t recall seeing any complaints in the 2021 secret Santa. But regardless. It seems everyone is welcoming this change so it’s likely going to stay that way

 

[reefiniteasy]

This Jew doesn’t like surprises. I like wish lists so I know I’m getting something I want and/or need. Yeah, it’s about the giving , but I, like everyone, knows it’s really about getting something and you just can’t say it. All gift exchanges are an excuse to buy something for someone just so you can justify getting something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally just drop the money on. Why doesn’t everyone just go spend $25-$50 on themselves and call it a day. To be honest, not sure I’m participating this year. The extra rules/regulations just feel burdensome. At least that’s how it feels when I went to read the thread.

 

[Waboss]

This is essentially the way it works. Anyone who wants to use wish lists can do it. We're simply no longer encouraging that because of past issues. If you prefer it, that's totally fine. However, we're encouraging people to focus on giving and getting to know one another as a community (which is why we have this event each year).

Accept that it's really not (or at least it doesn't look that way). R2R is not only "no longer encouraging", it's also basically telling folks NOT to use them. As noted in Santa's original post in this thread "know that your Secret Santa is being encouraged not to really look at that for gift giving this year."

At least to folks like me (if there are any), this actually makes it harder on the secret santa's and takes some of the enjoyment out of it since they have no way to really know what their match might need. Yes, you can say "make a detailed profile", but how many folks will do that, and does that really help? Sometimes, sure, sometimes, not really, it's a toss up. Also, for newer members who haven't participated before, and also don't have much post history here, it's almost impossible to figure out what they need or could use. Hence them getting "neat" stuff, but nothing actually useful.

Anyway, I still love this program and think it's great thing. I just don't fully agree with the new "guidelines". And that's OK, we don't have to agree, we can all still get along and have a some fun sharing reefing experiences and spreading cheer and happiness during the holidays.

 

[62518161]

I can just feel the Christmas spirit.

 

[RSnodgrass]

Guys/Gals is this really an issue? You can send your person anonymous questions if you need help coming up with ideas, pretty simple really.

Personally, I like the change, it definitely changes the focus, & I'm just happy for anything, no it doesn't have to be fish/coral related.