Spouse thinks reef lighting is tacky...

Mical · Nov 28, 2019

"what will she say about expense?"

That's another thread...

DSEKULA · Nov 28, 2019

Redesign the whole floor plan of "her" house (since that's what this seems to be) to make yourself an interior tank room, add some interior partions etc .... Sounds like a good compromise to me if shes that stubborn. Unless this is a mutual and you can completely nix her ideas too I find it unacceptable. Or she can move outta the blue house and not have to look at it

fishybizzness · Nov 28, 2019

Makes me feel lucky! When I asked my wife if I could set up a 55 gallon saltwater aquarium her response was "What am I, your mother "? And then she told me that 55 seemed a little small for a saltwater tank but maybe it would be a good size to learn on then when I figured it out I could upgrade..‍

CasaReefer · Nov 28, 2019

fishybizzness said:
Makes me feel lucky! When I asked my wife if I could set up a 55 gallon saltwater aquarium her response was "What am I, your mother "? And then she told me that 55 seemed a little small for a saltwater tank but maybe it would be a good size to learn on then when I figured it out I could upgrade..‍♂

Now you Gotta Keeper ..... No Really.... Keep Her......

TheOne · Nov 28, 2019

I will say to think hard about exactly where you want it. I put mine in the man cave and a year later tore it down and moved it into the main living area. It definately gets more attention/enjoyment now. It took 6 people for both moves and I lost my favorite powder blue tang in the process.

Hermie · Nov 28, 2019

Just giving my opinion, I agree that the hardcore blue light seen through windows looks really "tacky." It looks like a rave or something unseemly. It's just most people don't have experience with reef lighting (95% of people).

Mical · Nov 28, 2019

NotASpammerDude said:
Just giving my opinion, I agree that the hardcore blue light seen through windows looks really "tacky." It looks like a rave or something unseemly. It's just most people don't have experience with reef lighting (95% of people).

Especially neighbors who assume it's grow lights. I've had local police admire my tanks on separate occasions.

CasaReefer · Nov 28, 2019

It's legal to grow here so No worries for me.. I don't ....I can't afford it... got reefing stuff to spend money on

mcbdz · Nov 28, 2019

Luckily both, me and my husband love the hobby.
Maybe take some trips to local Aquariums as a family and find out what she loves in the tanks the most. What fish or corals. And try and get her interested in it. Also, really play up your daughters love for it and sometimes seeing the joy and excitement in the child will make her like it more.
A trip to the beach always helps me also cause at home the tank reminds me of it. Play all the Disney movies for your daughter that will help build the idea. Lilo and stitch, Moana, Finding Nemo and The new one. There is also shark tails. That gets the kids excited about the tank anyway and I love them. LOL

TheOne · Nov 28, 2019

NotASpammerDude said:
Just giving my opinion, I agree that the hardcore blue light seen through windows looks really "tacky." It looks like a rave or something unseemly. It's just most people don't have experience with reef lighting (95% of people).

If my neighbors complained I would set one of these up in the front window. Maybe every window. Not kidding

We couldn't get the city to put up a speed bump in our subdivision until one of my neighbors put up this sign. A week later they decided to put up a speed bump. Ha. My neighbors are awesome!

Tamberav · Nov 28, 2019

Just tell her what you wrote here. That it makes you happy and fulfilled.

If she cares more about people driving by then your happiness.... That makes me sad.

mta_morrow · Nov 28, 2019

Run a whiter spectrum. I run between 10 and 12K. Not because of the blue light special look, but everything is just as beautiful. Especially fish, blue diminishes their beauty. Then run blues if you like when you are viewing.

KrisReef · Nov 28, 2019

JaaxReef said:
So... yes, another thread on this topic.

A little background: My wife is VERY into aesthetics. If something doesn’t perfectly fit the room or it doesn’t look chic or stands out, she thinks it’s tacky or trashy. I don’t think she is completely opposed to the idea of me having a tank after she saw how great it looked and how much my little 9 month old daughter loved watching it before.

I was able to get a small tank Red Sea E170 with white cabinet in our current place we just sold since she worked with me to design a room around it, so it looked like it fit in more. The room was a loft on the interior of the house and was not visible from any windows. She hated the higher kelvin temp lighting because she thinks it looks tacky, especially if you could see it from a window from the outside of the home.

So, we are moving and building a new home, which meant renting for 3-4 months. Home should be done on March. I sold our tank and all livestock and shut everything down since I couldn’t have it while renting. Putting the money from sales aside to hopefully start a new tank next year. Of course being a reefer, I think about upgrades and having a larger system that is planned out to go in a specific room in our house and have a water station the the basement. She seemed on board and supportive at first, given our daughter’s interest in the tank.

As we are talking about the house and the design and look of the rooms, she just casually mentions, she has been thinking and she doesn’t want a tank in a place where people can see the “tacky bluish light” through a window... which rules out every room in the house other than the unfinished basement. So to me it feels like she just shut down the idea of a tank at all...

I really wanted the tank on the main floor, just so my daughter and I can enjoy it, and honestly don’t care about what people think of the color hue of light they can see through a window when they drive by our house... I think it is a little obsessive and frustrating that she cares so much that now I can’t have the tank in a main living space where I could enjoy it. I no longer see it worth the investment to put it somewhere where it is basically hidden and I don’t spend any time.

Any tips or ideas on how I can approach this? I know this hobby is a fulfilling and very fun one, and I’d rather not give it up if I don’t have to. Plus it might be a fun way to enjoy something and bond with my daughter as she gets older.

I’ve I reported the rabid assaults on your marriage, those comments were pretty tacky. You didn’t ask for marriage advice but you do seem to be wondering how to move forward given your wife’s obsession with aesthetics.

The obvious solution is to put an elevator from the first floor into the basement. This will prevent light bleed around the home and will make the trip to the basement into a carnival ride for you and your daughter. Once you arrive at your watery man cave the tank can be situated with a spectacular entry view as you step out of the Otis car.

Make plans for easy water mixing, automatic water changes, quarantine facilities and anything else you’ll need. You and your daughter can spend many happy hours down there watching and building the reef without bothering your spouse with the tacky lights or salt creep or fish jumping out of the tank. Reefs are messy and creepy really.

And you should build a separate room behind the tank to keep the equipment in so that your daughter doesn’t get hurt playing there. I’d put locks on the doors and set up a sound proof dungeon to keep sounds from being heard from the street. Aquarium pumps are so loud and tacky.

What ever you do, please do not take up clarinet. People can be so cruel with their suggestions but rarely are we truly helpful.

Loving ones neighbor as oneself is impossible really. Most people never figure it out.

Godspeed. :

Oldreefer44 · Nov 28, 2019

I have my one room and my wife has the rest of the house. Been that way for almost 40 years. Take the basement. The longer you are married the more time you will spend there

CasaReefer · Nov 28, 2019

OLDREEFER44 said:
I have my one room and my wife has the rest of the house. Been that way for almost 40 years. Take the basement. The longer you are married the more time you will spend there

That would explain your profile pic.... Can anyone say " SELFIE "

Oldreefer44 · Nov 28, 2019

CasaReefer said:
That would explain your profile pic.... Can anyone say " SELFIE "

I had no choice. Too many people confusing me with Brad Pitt.

Jon Fishman · Nov 28, 2019

TheOne said:
If my neighbors complained I would set one of these up in the front window. Maybe every window. Not kidding

We couldn't get the city to put up a speed bump in our subdivision until one of my neighbors put up this sign. A week later they decided to put up a speed bump. Ha. My neighbors are awesome!