Spouse thinks reef lighting is tacky...

[CasaReefer]

I’ve I reported the rabid assaults on your marriage, those comments were pretty tacky. You didn’t ask for marriage advice but you do seem to be wondering how to move forward given your wife’s obsession with aesthetics.

The obvious solution is to put an elevator from the first floor into the basement. This will prevent light bleed around the home and will make the trip to the basement into a carnival ride for you and your daughter. Once you arrive at your watery man cave the tank can be situated with a spectacular entry view as you step out of the Otis car.

Make plans for easy water mixing, automatic water changes, quarantine facilities and anything else you’ll need. You and your daughter can spend many happy hours down there watching and building the reef without bothering your spouse with the tacky lights or salt creep or fish jumping out of the tank. Reefs are messy and creepy really.

And you should build a separate room behind the tank to keep the equipment in so that your daughter doesn’t get hurt playing there. I’d put locks on the doors and set up a sound proof dungeon to keep sounds from being heard from the street. Aquarium pumps are so loud and tacky.

What ever you do, please do not take up clarinet. People can be so cruel with their suggestions but rarely are we truly helpful.

Loving ones neighbor as oneself is impossible really. Most people never figure it out.

Godspeed. :

Still laughing.

 

[Bpb]

I've been there before. My wife isn't fond of super blue lighting. It's hard to advise without knowing the layout of your house. It sounds like you have a very headstrong spouse. As do I.

I'd explain that it means a lot to you and it's something you're interested in and make suggestions on alternatives that wouldn't make you BOTH miserable with it. I'm all for standing up for your convictions, but not at the expense of your spouses happiness. If someone doesn't care whether their spouse is happy, that would explain people who cycle through 4-5 of them in a lifetime. Perhaps marriage isn't the best plan for those individuals, but I digress.

Tell her putting it in the basement puts it out of sight and out of mind. Takes all the fun out. Find a way to have it in the house, but perhaps not so "front elevation" oriented. Running and earlier/whiter lighting profile is also an option. A canopy that rests directly on the tank is also an outstanding way to greatly reduce light spill. But most tanks don't come with canopies anymore so you'd likely have to DIY one or have it done for you.

 

[motortrendz]

Finish the basement into a man cave and fill it with neon signs. The tank wont be so bad after that.

 

[Bpb]

Finish the basement into a man cave and fill it with neon signs. The tank wont be so bad after that.

finishing the basement is of course a good idea. Especially if he were able to maybe put the home office and kids play things down there as well. That way there would be more reason to spend time in the basement besides just staring at the tank. I can tell you right now. If my wife and I moved into an area of the country where there were basements, and she told me the basement is where she'd prefer I do my reefing, I'd nix the display entirely and fill the dang thing up with frag tanks

 

[fcmatt]

Go with less blue lights? 10k to 12k look?

Did not read the whole thread.

 

[Katrina71]

My husband is the light hater here. He hates anything without a canopy. He says he doesn't want the house to look like a LFS. No exposed lights.

 

[chefjpaul]

I appreciate the perspective. I guess I was looking for ideas on how I can present compromise rather than talk about wife vs me. So I appreciate the comments and suggestions!

Give her a few selections of lighting options, obviously, ones with clean aesthetics.

Pacific sun, the new ATI, giesemann, hydra etc.

Have a plan, pictures, etc.
There are many sleek mounting options for every light.

My wife was same, got used to the blueish, but I let her design and choose paint, decor... everything when we full remodeled....& everything else. Win win for both.

The light spill outside, great conversation starter.

 

[Katrina71]

+1 include her, not exclude her.

 

[Bpb]

My husband is the light hater here. He hates anything without a canopy. He says he doesn't want the house to look like a LFS. No exposed lights.

That’s how I am. Canopy on my tank is non negotiable in a living area. It’s simply too bright without it. Plus. Fish jump

 

[Silent]

When you start spending all your time in the basement she will regret her decision. Dont forget to remind her it was her idea.

 

[NatD]

Just tell her what you wrote here. That it makes you happy and fulfilled.

If she cares more about people driving by then your happiness.... That makes me sad.

Exactly this right here.

Good luck to you.

 

[Grigs]

My first wife and I had a deal about motorcycles...I don't get one. Not much of a deal I admit.

But she also put up with 16 years of me being in the Navy on submarines during the cold war. Never hearing from me for months at a time, not knowing where I was or in which ocean, being in effect a single mom of 4 and then all the moves we made. So maybe on second thought, not such a bad deal after all.

Navy wives are a special creature, particularly subs. I had email and a $1/min Sailor Phone and a g/f, not a wife.


OP, good luck, brother. I would take the basement and do what you want so there isn't any resentment on limiting activities, etc. Have at it down there!

 

[sfin52]

Take the basement make it a family room entertaining room. Make it place where the whole family wants to go. She took the upstairs you get the basement.


If you don't make it a place to go, you will spend more time down in the basement and away from the family. This may cause issues further down the line.

 

[CasaReefer]

Been chewing on this all day... what I figure is.. " The One That Makes The DOH..... Runs The Show " You will see this in a Fortune Cookie someday.

 

[CasaReefer]

My husband is the light hater here. He hates anything without a canopy. He says he doesn't want the house to look like a LFS. No exposed lights.

What's LFS.... Light Freak Show?....lol

 

[Katrina71]

Been chewing on this all day... what I figure is.. " The One That Makes The DOH..... Runs The Show " You will see this in a Fortune Cookie someday.

Never ever utter those words to your wife. Lol

 

[S2G]

Seriously dude..... very common in Cleveland!

This is were my wife draws the line. I want the lamp so bad but she says you remember what happened to that lamp in the movie right.

 

[Katrina71]

I happen to love the leg lamp!

 

[brad shawn]

I’d go for a 250 gallon all male peacock and haplichromis and call it a day

 

[CasaReefer]

I happen to love the leg lamp!

Ohhh LFS..... Leg Freak Show.... I get yeah now...