Magellan wrote what I wanted to say. I have been where you are twice before, just for different reasons. I repeat, are you the undesirable aesthetic or is the aquarium. I would bet if her circle of friends all decided reef aquariums were the newest thing she would want one. When your significant other doesn't want any part of your personality present in the home, unless it is buried in the basement, there is a problem. She is building a monument to herself.This thread made me feel so much better about my life. OP, I’m sorry. There aren’t any good solutions. Your wife is who she is, and you have a couple of options here. My own father chose to stick it out for the sake of us kids, and got a divorce after he finished putting us through college. He is MUCH happier with wife #2, who actually appreciates him and supports his passions. This was a really, really expensive option.
that’s option 1.
option 2, stop sacrificing your happiness for hers. This option is also expensive, and has it's own side effects. Your daughter will spend time at 2 different houses, and you will see less of her as she is growing up. But maybe this is for the best, and she will get to see her dad in a different and perhaps better light. Whichever option you choose, it’s going to suck. Just don’t choose option 1 and then wuss out in 5 years.
let’s face it..we all know this isn’t about the fish tank.