Urgh seriously.

Fin

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Hi Sarah, so good to see you interacting here again. Don't ever be afraid to reach out to your forum friends. You clearly have a group of people here that care about you a great deal. A lot of sage advice listed by others above. I am not so eloquent with expressing my thoughts, but I think you can see from the reactions of your friends here, that you are valued a great deal. I just think your body, though somewhat healed from severe trauma and illness, is maybe telling you it is time for you to slow down.

Since a few relevant songs have been posted, this would be my contribution. The song was inspired by Hurricane Katrina, but I find it helpful when trying to reason with stuff that life hands me. I may have shared this before, but I watch this particular video often. Stay strong, Sarah.

 

Skynyrd Fish

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Hi Sarah! Hopefully you are feeling better. Sorry to hear about the corals. There’s an old saying, when the going gets tough, the tough get going! You didn’t get this far in life to let this crap take you down. And I’m quite certain you are as tough as they come. You have a following here that is rooting for you. When your tank is stabilized hit me up I’ll send You some sps frags straight from Detroit. I have a few goodies. Detroit River water makes for some great colors lol. I hope you are Getting back to the grind. Remember just keep swimming!
 
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Sarah24!

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Hello,

Goodness I sound like a broken record when I keep saying I’m trying to post here daily, snnnnnnnnnd I don’t. there comes a time when one just has to accept that life can sometimes suck. Being isolated definitely doesn’t help things either.
I have had a few ask me what have I been doing all this time etc. well I have been reading, and well more reading and trying to figure out who I am. Work is fine and I’m just literally getting extra time for learning. I
Will restart my send year of rotation in the fall.
I actually did get a new coral yesterday and we will see what happens lol crossing my fingers. I honestly think my algae blooms and hair alage etc May have been due to a type of frozen food I have been using. It was out of stock and I went to a different kind. I then went back to it and notice small out breaks on the sand. So I switched back and will see what happens.

I really hope I havnt lost friends on here because I’m so quiet. I can make all kinds of excuses, but in reality loneliness has two features, one gives you some peace and quiet, built the second let’s you know who really cares about another. Some times I wonder about society and where it has changed since I was a teenager. It’s really scary, but it’s also something one needs to face.

lol as I write this out of order (oops), how many people have phases when it comes to their tank. Where it’s all they want to do, and then life happens and it seems like you still love it but never time?
 

Tumey

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how many people have phases when it comes to their tank. Where it’s all they want to do, and then life happens and it seems like you still love it but never time?

I think most of us experience this. It’s only natural that life should take the front seat before any hobby. There’s nothing wrong with being quiet and taking time for yourself either Sarah :)Happy to see the post
 
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Sarah24!

Sarah24!

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I think most of us experience this. It’s only natural that life should take the front seat before any hobby. There’s nothing wrong with being quiet and taking time for yourself either Sarah :)Happy to see the post

Hello;

Lol I’m glad I’m not the only one where we still do our tank but don’t start at it or super stoked. I still am in ways but my brain has been just hammered with other dumb events that just cause grief. I will try and post new pics tomorrow.
 

Tumey

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Hello;

Lol I’m glad I’m not the only one where we still do our tank but don’t start at it or super stoked. I still am in ways but my brain has been just hammered with other dumb events that just cause grief. I will try and post new pics tomorrow.
Priorities first. My gosh you’ve had so much happen in such a short time. It’s amazing you still have your tank after all that’s happened. Lol.
 

vetteguy53081

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You’re doing what you should be doing- PUTTING YOU FIRST !
We can offer you advice and encouragement but not sanity. That is up to you to establish then we can be of support
We all have our own emotional roller coasters, good days and bad and happy days and sad but at the end, WE HAVE EACH OTHER
IT SOUNDS CORNY, but talk to God. Although we don’t hear a voice in return, we hear a voice,,,,, one that we are sure we are getting a response.
Bad, enriched foods Can ruin tank chemistry and let’s hope that was it !!
Hang in there and know you are in our hearts. You don’t have to respond every day to get that assurance. We understand the things you and each other endure and are here for support when needed!!
 

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I have ups and downs with my tanks too. Sometimes I only do testing and basic maintenance and don’t really fiddle with things Or add livestock for a long stretch of time. The interesting thing is that While this leaves things in the tank to progress on their own, a lot of times things get better when I am hands Off, as long as I at least watch parameters. I’ve been in that phase for the last couple of months. Just watching all the ugliness and selfishness come out in people and also being isolated is draining me! I hope you start to feel better soon
 

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It's been kind of eerie reading your posts from day one. We actually started our (latest for me) reef tanks around the same time and our separate life's ups and downs (minus the nephew experience;Hilarious) have been chronologically in sync. I've come to think of these aquariums as good friends. They don't always do what we expect, challenge us, drive us crazy at times and might change over time but are always there for us. So even if that friendship gets strained, you need to take care of yourself first. There will always be time to rekindle the friendship at a more conducive time. Still enjoying your thread!
 
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Sarah24!

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Hello,

Omg sarah posted lol for 2 days in a row:/ as opposed to 20 times a day, I’m slowly pacing my self back. I did test parameters today and at least they are what I normally have. I know it will be a few months before I add in sps again. It is just bad to flush money lol makes me ponder the hobby.

My parents want me to go car shopping, yeah probably not. Atm I have zero places to really go other than work and well even then I can see work from my street sorta. With no where to go, gives no reason to buy a car, it takes place of the fear of my driving again.
 

Brew12

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I really hope I havnt lost friends on here because I’m so quiet. I can make all kinds of excuses, but in reality loneliness has two features, one gives you some peace and quiet, built the second let’s you know who really cares about another. Some times I wonder about society and where it has changed since I was a teenager. It’s really scary, but it’s also something one needs to face.
You don't lose friends for not posting. You just make them express patience. Friends will always be there. I'd say loneliness has an additional feature.... it makes you want to be alone even more. At least that is an unexpected impact it has had on me. Still trying to get that one worked out in my head.

lol as I write this out of order (oops), how many people have phases when it comes to their tank. Where it’s all they want to do, and then life happens and it seems like you still love it but never time?
I'm in one of those phases right now. My tank is doing amazing and is begging for attention I just can't give it right now. It's such a disaster as far as cyano, and is in desperate need of cleaning, but I have done my best to at least maintain water chemistry.

Omg sarah posted lol for 2 days in a row:/ as opposed to 20 times a day, I’m slowly pacing my self back. I did test parameters today and at least they are what I normally have. I know it will be a few months before I add in sps again. It is just bad to flush money lol makes me ponder the hobby.
Ummm… just going to point out that your pace has dropped off again. ;)

My parents want me to go car shopping, yeah probably not. Atm I have zero places to really go other than work and well even then I can see work from my street sorta. With no where to go, gives no reason to buy a car, it takes place of the fear of my driving again.
I was in Wisconsin last week visiting my family, whom I haven't seen in 2 years. My youngest nephew (10yrs) was tubing behind the boat when he fell off. No big deal, happens all the time. In fact, the goal of driving the boat is to get them to fall off. But... when we circled around to get him back on the tube he wasn't breathing. I jumped in and grabbed him (he was in a life vest) and realized he just had the wind nocked out of him. Having me with him calmed him down and he was able to get some air. I swam him back to the boat. He was shaken up but fine. The next day we made him go tubing and made my uncle drive him either though neither wanted to. Within 5 minutes my nephew was having a blast again.
Moral: this may not have been nearly as serious as your accident, but you need to get back on that horse. Facing our fears may not be the most fun thing we do, but it is a necessary part of life. The sooner you confront that fear the better. Otherwise it looms as a future obstacle that you will always worry about.
 

Lasse

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My parents want me to go car shopping, yeah probably not. Atm I have zero places to really go other than work and well even then I can see work from my street sorta. With no where to go, gives no reason to buy a car, it takes place of the fear of my driving again.
When I was young and doing my military service (all swedish boy with the age of +18 had around 1 year of military training at that time) I was late to the training camp - I drive an old SAAB car and I was in a hurry (and the car too - probably around 80 mph) Suddenly - the road made a bend to the right - but the car just keep on straight forward. At this time - it was no sport to wear safety belts and airbags were not even on the drawing board. It was a curve with slope and straight ahead - 1 m below the level of the curves upper end there was a large field. I know it was 200 meters at least - because that was the distance the car went before it stopped (according to the police) Have you seen än airplane take off from an aircraft carrier - it must have been like that - but without wings. 5 youngster succeeded to crawl out from the car (alive) - walk up to the road and hitchhike to the camp (and we was in time with 10 seconds) If you Google SAAB 96 you may understand why 5 young guy could survive that crash without safety belts :p. However - 3 days later I was on leave home at my parents. My father met me in the door with his car keys dangling in his hand - and he only said - just go out and drive your fear away on the curvy gravel roads in the forest - and did. If he had not done that - I´m not sure that I had drive for a long time. You can tell your parents - yes I will do car shopping but first lend me your car so I can go up in the mountains and drive the fear away from me. If they say yes - and you come back with a working car - its time for car shopping :D

Sincerely Lasse
 
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Wow @Sarah24! !! I took three days to read this thread and holy hannah banana (learned a few new phrases along the way) what a ride it has been. I remember reading the initial thread about your nephews and shortly after that I took a break for a while (to be pregnant and exhausted and very lazy), which I recommend you do regularly. The lazy and lounge around part because it sounds like you are always on the go, not the pregnant part; don’t recommend ;) I wish you strength going forward and you are a rockstar Dr Sarah. So glad I got to read your story.
 
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Sarah24!

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Hello,

Hey friends I actually have a real reason for not being on and active well that’s excusable. Well not really but I guess it could be. I actually sent a gift to a friend and she lives in the uk. Well when I had the FedEx people ship the items (they look at the items before shipping (which makes it worse)), they accidentally put my phone in the box to be shipped. So I don’t get a lot of texts or calls or on it much. So didn’t think about it at all. About 2 days went by and it hit me lol. I could not find it anywhere and I have a phone location device. Which I activated and it was in California. So I was trying to call my phone carrier and when we checked again lol it was in Seattle. Literally like a day later. Then once it popped up to jfk it dawned me that I shipped my phone to my friend in the uk. So not so bad right, well I can’t call her my phones is in her package :/ plus umm don’t know the number off the top of my head. Luckily we still email so I emailed her and I have my phone back 2 days ago lol. So moral of the story is, don’t ship your phone international it takes forever. (The phone did eventually die but it was fun tracking it on the location device up till it died). I was wow that person moved fast.
 

leeatmg

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Oh my goodness - thank you for that laugh (at your expense, which I am sorry for.) Sorely needed that today. That's one of the funniest stories I've heard in a while. Most people would not be able to live without their phone for two hours much less days and weeks.
 

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