What is nice

[ScottR]

To the people that say google it and not ask questions on a forum, next time you have a medical emergency, please google it in lieu of seeking medical advice. Newbies and even oldies come here to ask questions. If it bothers you, then why are you on a forum anyway? You don’t need to click it. Just simply scroll past it. The forum is also subdivided into topics. You can find the topic that suits your reading.

 

[Samina]

As someone who has posted on here for help before, I can tell you that I definitely have used google and search functions here on R2R. I have come a long way from where I was before and that was done by experience, reading/researching, applying knowledge, experimenting, and reflecting. I also read many books on reef keeping. In the beginning, I remember I was not able to grasp the knowledge in the finer details until I had experience as well. I went back to reading those same books after having time in the hobby and was better able to grasp and apply those concepts. Sometimes information is not appropriate for all audiences- the skill level, experience, and knowledge of the audience is also important to consider.
The thing is that when you are new to something, you want to be extra careful and need certainty because you do not have the experience to apply that yourself. A good way to do that is by getting direct answers to your particular question which entails specificity to your particular situation. A lot of information has important variables to consider and the context of that information may not necessarily elaborate on those and that leaves the individual kind of in the dark. Also, this is a complex hobby with many things to consider; being new to it can also make understanding different variables and how they all play a role together can be a cumbersome task. So, although there are blatantly obvious answers to some, for others, it may not seem that clear.
We are a mix of different people and the culture of this forum fosters development for hobbyists of all levels collectively. You can find expert hobbyists, researchers, scientists, chemists on here and in the post find an individual that does not even know the basics. But that is what makes the forum a resource. Its a social network built upon support. So being nice in the forum just means doing your part in that sense from what I believe. If the post or thread seems nonsensical and a waste of time, then don’t worry about it and move onto a topic that interests you more. I find your answers to be informative and blunt. And that is ok in my opinion, but may not jive well with folks that are more sensitive.
But in my opinion, we also cannot just tailor to one end while undermining another. There is a balance and as long as no one is being blatantly rude or condescending, I see no harm in being blunt.

 

[stanleo]

Welcome to the club. Yeah, I've been called mean... and lots of other things with similar meanings in less family friendly terms. It's not true, really... I'm not mean, I'm direct, opinionated, and don't believe in political correctness. You say something parroted from popular culture without being able to back it up, and I'll jump right down your throat. No hard feelings... consider it constructive criticism

I don't agree with "political correctness" either per say. It does bother me how easily offended some people get but I am also bothered by people who say things JUST BECAUSE they know it will offend someone and they think it's funny. Not saying you do that, I have never noticed that and I agree with everything you wrote, I just wanted to make the point.

 

[ccombs]

As someone who got on this forum with a very limited reefing knowledge, I am sure that I asked dumb/already answered questions, and I do research before asking.

The value for me is that Google often provides conflicting information on the same subject, and many times it is hard to differentiate differing opinion vs. right/wrong in this hobby when you are first learning. Some things are different methods, while others are actually just the right/wrong way to do things.

For me, being able to ask a question is starting a dialogue. Instead of reading threads and trying to pick out information that may or may not be there, I can ask a broad question, then continue to ask more detailed follow ups about my specific situation.

My advice would be to avoid some of the newbie threads if you know that irritates you. There actually is nothing wrong with that irritating you, the fact we are all different is what makes this world great. I believe there is plenty this forum can offer you even if you avoid questions that you see as dumb.

To directly answer your question, a lot of 'niceness' in posts comes down to the tone in your head when you are writing, vs the perceived tone of the reader. I know I am guilty of writing things that were honestly meant to be nice/encouraging, only to read back over later and realize that I sounded mean or condescending.

 

[MnFish1]

I don't know you but since you asked I'll give you my opinion just looking at your posts.

It's not that you're not nice just blunt and not argumentative...but I guess you like to have the last word lol There's a bunch here like that.

Personally I don't mind, but to the more sensitive people I can see how it can be not nice. To be fair there's a ton of touchy people so it can be hard to navigate without stepping on toes. Your pros are way ahead of you're perceived "rudeness" imho. Merry xmas - Twitter's full

I do lol:)

 

[WisconsinReefing]

Why do we see so many posts in the Emergency threads, and many are not a problem to begin with ...

Maybe, at least in my case, I should just stay away from the forum, because I find all these newbie questions irritating ...
In this era of electronic data, why is it so difficult to do a Google search, instead of wasting all the space on this site with repeat questions?

This is where the 'not so nice' starts ... :rolleyes:

Wasting space? Here’s an idea if you don’t want to see questions then don’t read them. What does it bother you if someone asks a question that you think they could find on google? I’d say there is a great deal more to worry about in the world.

For people like me who are new, you can often find multiple answers to the same question on google. So to have a group of people that you can have an Interactive discussion with about an issue is a great thing.

I’ve quickly learned in this hobby there are a bunch of awesome helpful people, but unfortunately a lot of elitist jerks too.

My suggestion would be if you can’t read people’s questions without being rude, skip it

 

[Dragon52]

To me, being nice is to treat someone like you would like to be treated. I know this sounds cliche but it still means alot. I've seen some questions that some could easily be answered by searching on Google, I do think some people are too lazy to look it up themselves but by posting here their going to get alot more information at a personable level because of the experience that people have over some random test done yrs ago & things don't always work out. Some of the post make me think is this person for real but then I remember how things were when I started in this hobby 40-50 yrs ago when there was no internet. Person to person is still the best way to get information first hand by people who have had the same issues as yours.

 

[Mastiffsrule]

Hello,

I was going to stay out of this, but once the imposter @ScottR commented I had to save my good name :)

Being nice is being nice. Simple as that. No I do this or I do that. They did this or they did that.Don’t try to make people to your point of view, but don’t Give up yours. Respect everyone, patience for everyone, ask for help when needed,

Everyone knows how to be nice, we need to take that pause before responding to make the choice to be nice. I can name 20-30 people I think are nice now. Even @ScottR . My one “battle” was with @scriptmonkey and total a misunderstanding on both sides. I PM him to check in but I haven’t seen him in a while. I hope he comes back.

 

[ScottR]

Hello,

I was going to stay out of this, but once the imposter @ScottR commented I had to save my good name :)

Being nice is being nice. Simple as that. No I do this or I do that. They did this or they did that.Don’t try to make people to your point of view, but don’t Give up yours. Respect everyone, patience for everyone, ask for help when needed,

Everyone knows how to be nice, we need to take that pause before responding to make the choice to be nice. I can name 20-30 people I think are nice now. Even @ScottR . My one “battle” was with @scriptmonkey and total a misunderstanding on both sides. I PM him to check in but I haven’t seen him in a while. I hope he comes back.

I still love you @Mastiffsrule ~ btw, did you get your postcard yet?

 

[Dr. Dendrostein]

I understand. I remember thinking pods crawling everywhere was like a roach infestation. It totally freaked me out. Some people, myself included, dive in blindly. Probably without even knowing it.

Oooooo pods, so much protein. ....

 

[Dr. Dendrostein]

Hello,

I was going to stay out of this, but once the imposter @ScottR commented I had to save my good name :)

Being nice is being nice. Simple as that. No I do this or I do that. They did this or they did that.Don’t try to make people to your point of view, but don’t Give up yours. Respect everyone, patience for everyone, ask for help when needed,

Everyone knows how to be nice, we need to take that pause before responding to make the choice to be nice. I can name 20-30 people I think are nice now. Even @ScottR . My one “battle” was with @scriptmonkey and total a misunderstanding on both sides. I PM him to check in but I haven’t seen him in a while. I hope he comes back.

Yea that imposter @ScottR , who eats sushi at lunch, lives by a harbor, he eats sushi, suushi, that's fish , our friends of the ocean....

 

[Jeeperz]

Before anyone thinks this is a critique of other posts or the TOS - it is not.

This is what it is:

I have been accused of being 'not nice'. and sometimes I was not. We can possibly ascribe that to alcohol consumption - but perhaps it was mere disagreement. In any case - I think there is a varying opinion as to 'what is nice'. Independent of the site - what does this mean?

Most people that meet me in real life think I am negative or not nice, those that get to know me over time, think I am beyond brutally honest and sincere and have come to appreciate my honesty. I lay it out, if I offend, sorry but not sorry.

 

[Mastiffsrule]

I still love you @Mastiffsrule ~ btw, did you get your postcard yet?

Not to hijack—- real quick. Not yet, I’m slacking on getting yours out. I just haven’t found that perfect card yet.

 

[DSC reef]

Not to hijack—- real quick. Not yet, I’m slacking on getting yours out. I just haven’t found that perfect card yet.

It's not nice to "hijack" threads:p

 

[flchamp89]

Being nice is what separates this forum from all others. I've been on many forums over the years and this one is hands down the best. Let's play nice and keep it that way. :)

 

[Homebrewer]

Regarding the google-it-first sentiments, I have to say that there is real value in searching this forum first, before posting a new thread. I see this as a great step for two reasons: first, the answer to your question may already be out there; and second, I believe resurrected threads are more valuable than fresh ones because the info on the subject is all in one place (so to speak). I actually think a search should be a required step before the creation of a new thread. Just a suggestion for the mods.

I agree with most of the previous postings and the thoughts conveyed. This is a healthy conversation to have.

So as for my opinion insofar as “nice” is concerned, there may be many definitions, but the one thing I’ll say is that text in a forum can be very different than a face to face conversation. Body language, tone, demeanor... all of that is lost online. So I think it is incumbent upon both the writer AND the reader to keep that in mind when on this forum.

 

[MnFish1]

Regarding the google-it-first sentiments, I have to say that there is real value in searching this forum first, before posting a new thread. I see this as a great step for two reasons: first, the answer to your question may already be out there; and second, I believe resurrected threads are more valuable than fresh ones because the info on the subject is all in one place (so to speak). I actually think a search should be a required step before the creation of a new thread. Just a suggestion for the mods.

I agree with most of the previous postings and the thoughts conveyed. This is a healthy conversation to have.

So as for my opinion insofar as “nice” is concerned, there may be many definitions, but the one thing I’ll say is that text in a forum can be very different than a face to face conversation. Body language, tone, demeanor... all of that is lost online. So I think it is incumbent upon both the writer AND the reader to keep that in mind when on this forum.

Im surprised that people want people to 'google it first' myself - I personally think that posting a thread is best because - there is a lot of bad information on 'google' - i.e. every opinion imaginable - and 2. Though you might get several opinions here if you post a thread - at least its recent - able to be discussed - and you can take multiple opinions.

I guess I didnt say what I define as 'nice'. On the poster side, I think its making a person feel 'comfortable' even if you are disagreeing. On the reader side I think its not automatically assuming that something that is a general comment is being addressed directly to 'you'.

I really like that this site has open discussions - even if I have probably driven a couple of mods crazy over the years - everything is a learning experience. Thanks for all of the interesting responses to this thread

Addendum. I had originally asked 'independent of the site' what is nice - but since its 'this site' - I guess its normal that the discussion has gravitated to discussing 'nice' on this site

 

[Homebrewer]

Im surprised that people want people to 'google it first' myself - I personally think that posting a thread is best because - there is a lot of bad information on 'google' - i.e. every opinion imaginable - and 2. Though you might get several opinions here if you post a thread - at least its recent - able to be discussed - and you can take multiple opinions.

I guess I didnt say what I define as 'nice'. On the poster side, I think its making a person feel 'comfortable' even if you are disagreeing. On the reader side I think its not automatically assuming that something that is a general comment is being addressed directly to 'you'.

I really like that this site has open discussions - even if I have probably driven a couple of mods crazy over the years - everything is a learning experience. Thanks for all of the interesting responses to this thread

Addendum. I had originally asked 'independent of the site' what is nice - but since its 'this site' - I guess its normal that the discussion has gravitated to discussing 'nice' on this site

I agree that a post is better than google. What I was trying to emphasize is that a search of this site is far better than a google search, and should be advisable prior to a “fresh” post.

 

[MnFish1]

I agree that a post is better than google. What I was trying to emphasize is that a search of this site is far better than a google search, and should be advisable prior to a “fresh” post.

Right - I know - sorry - I wasnt disagreeing. I honestly - (hate to say it) - find the search here difficult (dont ask me why) - Maybe I don't have that many questions overall - but - in almost every case - if a person posts a new thread there is always more 'information' updated than if a search is done alone

 

[Homebrewer]

Right - I know - sorry - I wasnt disagreeing. I honestly - (hate to say it) - find the search here difficult (dont ask me why) - Maybe I don't have that many questions overall - but - in almost every case - if a person posts a new thread there is always more 'information' updated than if a search is done alone

No need to apologize! I get where you’re coming from. Thanks for the meaningful discussion!