Started my day with compassion

[Paulie069]

Today I took my 17ft boat out to get water, I launched it off my trailer n got half way across the bay when all sudden I noticed my boat was filling up with water, I forgot to put the plug in, was like oo crap this isn’t good, but I knew if I kept it moving I wouldn’t sink and made it back to boat ramp got boat back on trailer drained out water out in plug then went back out,, only went mile or two into ocean because 17 foot boat is not really that safe in the ocean and I’m not trying to die anymore,, got 18 buckets of water and put them in my 2 55gal drums with pumps that keep water moving around. Then went to work for 3 hours,, small job then did WC on invert tank and gonna do WC on main tank tonight (maybe)

 

[Paulie069]

So I wanna backtrack a little and tell you about my mother,, I loved her so much she was my rock,, probably because she protected me from a bunch of beatings by laying across me while my father was whipping me ( was only way to make him stop) and no matter how much trouble I got in school she loved me even harder Mom was only person to make me feel safe and loved. She had awesome sense of humor and I’m sure is the one that put the love of the ocean in me, boy she loved to swim and bodysurf for hours with me,, those were great times I miss her so much, and to this day there are times that I want my mommy. I know goofy right,, but they way my mother suffers before she died really made me turn my back on God. I thought how can a God that is supposed to be mighty and good let my mother suffer the way she did.
First came the kidney disease along with dialysis 3-4x a week 5hrs a day,, then the heart problem with clogging arterys she had 11 stints out in over course of 2-3yrs,, then had a stroke that paralyzed the whole left side of her body, she wound up in a wheelchair after that. She still had to do dialysis and after each session she had to get weighed, one day she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t wanna do the scale but they kinda forced her and she fell and broke the leg that was paralyzed. When they put a cast on it they didn’t notice a cut on her calf,, anyway it got gangrene and they had to amputate from above knee,, three months later her paralyzed arm got the same thing and she had that amputated above elbow. Then they figure out that she has diabetes 2 ,, it got a little much for my stepfather to handle ( what a great man he is) I’ll talk about him later. So she’s in a full time nursing home just as sick as you can be and half her body is cut off,, but she still kept her humor the whole time laughing and joking around with me still. In one visit ( I went 2x a day) she told me the doctors wanted to actually amputate her other leg. I just blanked out and said to her “ mom are you nuts or something, what are you gonna do let em hack you apart until Your a head in a bed” then asked her what are you holding on for,, all yours children are married and on their own and doing fine. You did your job and it’s ok to stop fighting and being miserable,, it’s ok to go we’re all doing good
Well that day she stopped all treatment and died in pain a week later, I was standing right next to her when she took her last breath and screamed out “ Jesus make the pain go away then one more little sigh and she was gone
I blamed myself for her dying it was like I gave her permission to die and carried that for 10 yrs before my therapist made me realize it wasn’t my fault. But I still remained so angry at God for making her suffer the way she did , she was a god loving good person that did nothing but good and he took that away from me. She was only 56 when she died
Next I’ll tell you about my Stepfather (who is still a part of my life) and my 2 Brothers one of Whitehall blew his head off 2 years ago

 

[KrisReef]

Just caught up reading here.
I was on the bottom of the ocean too for awhile. Can't wait to read what happens next!

Somehow I got off that bus

Sorry, I have no random acts to report. -I am actively looking for opportunities.

OOps, You posted an update right before I posted mine.

Your mom was/is a saint. Sad she went through so much pain but glad to know she went straight to see The Lord. I'm sure He's set things righ for her now. Sorry she's not here for you to hug now and again. Weepy edit, kr

 

[CMMorgan]

We never know what is happening in someone else's life. I was raised to always share a kind word. It's just my nature to tell someone that a color is flattering or they have nice eyes... I once had a co-worker write me a note that she had been going through a brutal divorce and her ex had really destroyed her self esteem. She said that those little affirmations that I gave her every day gave her the strength to keep going and be there for her boys. No one knew what she was going through, as she was a very private person. Another client of mine recently let me know that I was her only friend because the people she works with just don't understand her. All I do is bring her her favorite coffee periodically and answer the phone when she calls ... and listen. I'm not superwoman and I don't do anything earth shattering. Simply put... we never know the impact of any action - no matter how small. Let's think about how we represent ourselves and our Lord and Savior when we go about our daily lives.

 

[Paulie069]

We never know what is happening in someone else's life. I was raised to always share a kind word. It's just my nature to tell someone that a color is flattering or they have nice eyes... I once had a co-worker write me a note that she had been going through a brutal divorce and her ex had really destroyed her self esteem. She said that those little affirmations that I gave her every day gave her the strength to keep going and be there for her boys. No one knew what she was going through, as she was a very private person. Another client of mine recently let me know that I was her only friend because the people she works with just don't understand her. All I do is bring her her favorite coffee periodically and answer the phone when she calls ... and listen. I'm not superwoman and I don't do anything earth shattering. Simply put... we never know the impact of any action - no matter how small. Let's think about how we represent ourselves and our Lord and Savior when we go about our daily lives.

Your story is inspiring that there is good people in this world still. God Bless you

 

[Paulie069]

Just caught up reading here.
I was on the bottom of the ocean too for awhile. Can't wait to read what happens next!

Somehow I got off that bus

Sorry, I have no random acts to report. -I am actively looking for opportunities.

OOps, You posted an update right before I posted mine.

Your mom was/is a saint. Sad she went through so much pain but glad to know she went straight to see The Lord. I'm sure He's set things righ for her now. Sorry she's not here for you to hug now and again. Weepy edit, kr

Uggh your post made me tear up a little lol
God Bless Brother

 

[CMMorgan]

So I wanna backtrack a little and tell you about my mother,, I loved her so much she was my rock,, probably because she protected me from a bunch of beatings by laying across me while my father was whipping me ( was only way to make him stop) and no matter how much trouble I got in school she loved me even harder Mom was only person to make me feel safe and loved. She had awesome sense of humor and I’m sure is the one that put the love of the ocean in me, boy she loved to swim and bodysurf for hours with me,, those were great times I miss her so much, and to this day there are times that I want my mommy. I know goofy right,, but they way my mother suffers before she died really made me turn my back on God. I thought how can a God that is supposed to be mighty and good let my mother suffer the way she did.
First came the kidney disease along with dialysis 3-4x a week 5hrs a day,, then the heart problem with clogging arterys she had 11 stints out in over course of 2-3yrs,, then had a stroke that paralyzed the whole left side of her body, she wound up in a wheelchair after that. She still had to do dialysis and after each session she had to get weighed, one day she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t wanna do the scale but they kinda forced her and she fell and broke the leg that was paralyzed. When they put a cast on it they didn’t notice a cut on her calf,, anyway it got gangrene and they had to amputate from above knee,, three months later her paralyzed arm got the same thing and she had that amputated above elbow. Then they figure out that she has diabetes 2 ,, it got a little much for my stepfather to handle ( what a great man he is) I’ll talk about him later. So she’s in a full time nursing home just as sick as you can be and half her body is cut off,, but she still kept her humor the whole time laughing and joking around with me still. In one visit ( I went 2x a day) she told me the doctors wanted to actually amputate her other leg. I just blanked out and said to her “ mom are you nuts or something, what are you gonna do let em hack you apart until Your a head in a bed” then asked her what are you holding on for,, all yours children are married and on their own and doing fine. You did your job and it’s ok to stop fighting and being miserable,, it’s ok to go we’re all doing good
Well that day she stopped all treatment and died in pain a week later, I was standing right next to her when she took her last breath and screamed out “ Jesus make the pain go away then one more little sigh and she was gone
I blamed myself for her dying it was like I gave her permission to die and carried that for 10 yrs before my therapist made me realize it wasn’t my fault. But I still remained so angry at God for making her suffer the way she did , she was a god loving good person that did nothing but good and he took that away from me. She was only 56 when she died
Next I’ll tell you about my Stepfather (who is still a part of my life) and my 2 Brothers one of Whitehall blew his head off 2 years ago

Paulie,
My Mom (Pauline) was told when I was 6 that she had 6 months. She told them no... she was going to see her kids graduate high school. She went to the mayoclinic, the national institute of health... whereever, whatever it took. Ultimately, she changed high school to college. ( I deliberately screwed up my classes over and over so I would not graduate thinking if she was holding out for us to graduate, she'd live longer.) She kept fighting and suffering and later went on to say she would meet her grandkids. I married a horrible human being to give her those grandkids. Then I dragged those kids to hospitals while she went through a lung transplant and rejection. It was decades of watching her endure pure hell. We lost her at 58 years old. At no point did she ever lose faith.... but afterwards, I did. I was angry... what was the point of it all?
After years of abuse from that husband and losing my mom... I was a shell of who I was. They say that when you hit rock bottom, you look up and see God. I did. I had some amazing friends (angels in disguise) that put a bible in my hand and taught me to pray over the book of Job. I had my Mom's favorite "animal" tattooed on me... a frog. It meant Fully Rely On God. Beneath it is Psalm 144 1-2 Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me.

I placed all of my faith in God, packed up my kids and moved as a single parent to a place I had never been, without a job and $3200 to my name... because that is where he told me to go. I went confident and fearless in my conviction and I understood for the first time why my Mom never gave up her faith. It gave her the power to live through the pain and the … to achieve her goals. I still struggled to understand the why though. Why did I spend all of my formative years crying at night in fear of losing my Mom? Why did I have to watch her suffer and feel helpless to save her?

Fast forward to 2016, my daughter meets a boy. They fall in love.... he goes away to college. Three months later, his Mom is diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Everyone tried to protect him, lie to him about her condition... except me. In a full circle moment, I realized that everything I went through my Mom prepared me to help this boy. He lost his Mom, lost his home, lost his ability to goto college and lost his faith.

I took him in, gave him a home, trained and mentored him in an occupation and carried him though that grief. He married my daughter on 10/31/20. I know that everything my Mom went through was not without purpose. We just cannot see the big picture. This story took decades to play out.

We don't always get to see our purpose but I am blessed to know that every step happened in accordance with his plan. My life isn't perfect. I see my youngest daughter struggle with mental illness and it breaks me... but I have faith that she is not alone and that she is being watched over.

I am so sorry for what your Mom went through. I am so deeply sorry for the hell you've been through. I cannot imagine the pain that your brother was in that took him to that point. You are clearly a strong and powerful person to have come through all of this and maintain your sanity, let alone your faith, compassion and decency.

Thank you for all that you do. An once of kindness is worth a mountain of gold. Thank you for your testimony... may it touch those that need it and let them know that they are not alone.

 

[Paulie069]

Wow CM what a heart touching story of faith and the power it has, sounds like you have been tested to the limits also, thank you for sharing it shows that I’m really not alone
God Bless you on a daily basis and I’ll always remember this post you have shared,, you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers, much love and thank you for sharing your pain and triumphs

 

[Reefing_addiction]

Went into a Walgreens to pick up a prescription. A older gentleman in a wheelchair, who obviously has Parkinson’s was having trouble with his prescription. Apparently the hospital sent it to the wrong pharmacy. And now he would be without meds. I took the time to talk to him and the pharmacist. He didn’t have money for the prescription. I told the pharmacist to fill his meds and I would pay for them. My only hope being that the people who watched would hopefully do the same some day for someone.

the gentleman need someone to take the time to understand what he was saying. He was hard to understand. It was a blessing to me to help him. And the Walgreens team members made sure he got home.

I think most people there were scared of him. But he is just another person. Just like me or you. He needs live and compassion just like anyone else. I know I made an impact on the young employee who helped him to his bus. To me that was the biggest thank you I could get, is showingothers how to be compassionate for others. How taking the time to understand someone at their moment of need can be the best thing in the world.

 

[Reefing_addiction]

Thank you @Paulie069 for sharing.
I don’t know you but I love you!

 

[Paulie069]

Dyerrm awesome story of compassion and kindness,, thank you for sharing your experience with me, love hearing about all the good things people do to help a stranger in need .. God Bless and keep doing what your doing,, much love and respect

 

[Reefing_addiction]

@Paulie069
I stayed up way to late reading this thread last night. I don’t regret a moment of it!

 

[Paulie069]

I’d like to tell you about my stepfather,, he is a great man that I will always love and be a part of his life,, I consider him to be my children’s grandfather as I never let them meet my real father,, Fred stuck by my moms side through everything, not only that but he took on the responsibility of 3 teenage kids that were out of control and did so with love and understanding,, I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him but he maned you and did it,, he is very much apart of my life still even though he remarried to another lady who is as awesome as he is, and she doesn’t mind sharing him on holidays and always comes along with him on visits to my house. My kids love him tons and call him grandpa hick as he is very country , big belt buckle and all lol
I will never forget how much he loved my mom and all the things he sacrificed to make her as happy as possible during her crumbling health into death,, he was there every second till the end. I love you Freddy Lee KRAHN you’ll always be family to me

I’ll talk about my brothers later

 

[Paulie069]

I just got home with a new phone,, good n bad it’s a nice phone but now I gotta learn how to use it
I got the iPhone 11 just because I forgot the passwords in my other phone and it was such a pain in the *** it was just easier to get a new one and start fresh. And it just irked my kids because they still have 7s haha I got a more fancy phone than you kids nanana

 

[Reefing_addiction]

I just got home with a new phone,, good n bad it’s a nice phone but now I gotta learn how to use it
I got the iPhone 11 just because I forgot the passwords in my other phone and it was such a pain in the *** it was just easier to get a new one and start fresh. And it just irked my kids because they still have 7s haha I got a more fancy phone than you kids nanana

Sounds like my daughter! She told me it wasn’t fair she has an iPhone 7 and I have an 11 max pro. So I told her if she saves her money she can upgrade. She would have to save the difference from what her phone cost and mine. When she asked how much I told her about $1000. She hasn’t made a peep since! BTW she is 11. some kids don’t realize how much things cost. I work my butt off for my toys.

 

[Paulie069]

so do you think god might just be an artist

 

[Paulie069]

So today I’m gonna talk little about my brothers,,I have 2 my older brother is only 13 months older than me, they called us Irish twins but that always confused me because we’re Polish Italian,,, and my younger brother was 8yrs behind me. Now that I think about it my little brother had it harder than me, he had no real father figure even though Fread (stepfather) tried to fill that hole, and when he was only 8 I was 16 and off the deep end and my older brother wasn’t really around much (we lived different lives) so Brett had no guidance growing up. My older brother Tom married early in life and started his own family, so he really didn’t take interest in my life or Bretts We always we’re at odds with each other for longest time before we realized later in life that each other was all we got and tried repairing our relationship. At my older brothers daughters wedding Me and Brett had the biggest fight in our lives I was so tired of his Drinking,, he drank Jameson whiskey like water and the very last words I said to him was
“ your an fn idiot that’s gonna die drunk and alone””. Three months later he put a shotgun in his mouth and blew top of his head off. I’ll never forgive myself for not being able to help him and the last words I said to him will be with me forever. I’m trying to forgive myself but so far no luck I still carry it with me.
As for my older brother we are closer now and trying hard to repair our relationship for the better
Here’s a pic of me and my older brother and a pic of my younger brother Also all us together not sure of age we were

 

[Paulie069]

I came across a picture of me from the Army
Age 16

 

[Paulie069]

So I’ve told you about the gentleman from my new job,, today I brought him a plate of dinner, I had my wife make extra last night so I could get him a meal,, she made him 2 stuffed pork chops with cooked onions and mushrooms, with little baby potatoes and some spicy glaze she makes with feta cheese and mozzarella melted over the top,, so filling. I also gave him a six pack of ice tea (won’t touch alcohol) and I slipped a twenty into a bag with fork knife and some condiments an napkins,,also told him he’s welcome to dinner tomorrow night at my house and told him to bring All his laundry so he can have nice clean clothes. It’s best I can do and praying that I m doing enough, I’d like to offer him a room (have two bedrooms empty) but I respect my wife’s wishes as a mother lion on guard for her cubs,, I get it but doesn’t mean we can’t help in other ways

 

[CMMorgan]

I’d like to tell you about my stepfather,, he is a great man that I will always love and be a part of his life,, I consider him to be my children’s grandfather as I never let them meet my real father,, Fred stuck by my moms side through everything, not only that but he took on the responsibility of 3 teenage kids that were out of control and did so with love and understanding,, I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him but he maned you and did it,, he is very much apart of my life still even though he remarried to another lady who is as awesome as he is, and she doesn’t mind sharing him on holidays and always comes along with him on visits to my house. My kids love him tons and call him grandpa hick as he is very country , big belt buckle and all lol
I will never forget how much he loved my mom and all the things he sacrificed to make her as happy as possible during her crumbling health into death,, he was there every second till the end. I love you Freddy Lee KRAHN you’ll always be family to me

I’ll talk about my brothers later

It takes 15 minutes to be a father, It takes a lifetime to be a Dad. God bless Grandaddy Hick